#sometimes life is about the friends we make along the way and the strength they give you

[cashmoneyyysstuff]

i'm too proud to talk to you anyway !

synopsis : but if you do, don't you know, that i don't mind...

an. im pretty sure this is the first time ive ever written non bf katsuki/ non childhood friend suki ever...im going thru withdrawal eugh...n e wayss! i thought this was a cute silly concept and i hope i did well ! hope yall enjoy :3

cw. nothing i think ! fluff, forced proximity i think ? katsuki's a potty mouth but..it's katsuki, reader is a sweetie, reader says thank you and sorry a lot so i mightve been projecting a bit sorry twins lolol :P, katsuki is referred to as bkg and it hurts my heart..like thats my man we aint casual </3 katsuki is lowkey pining but unaware and in denial, reader is in the bksquad ! lmk if i missed sum else !

shit, shit, shit. you were this close.

you pant and groan in annoyance, seeing your train about to depart just as you arrived at the terminal.

shit, you knew you shouldn't have slept in !

you loved taking this train because it never got too full. sure, there were always people commuting early but you had the luxury of not being squished to death in a train that, by the time you got to school, resembled a can of sardines.

you could make it, you were a hero-in-training ! you'd built up your stamina for moments like this...probably ! definitely !

so you continue running with all your strength, you don't think you'd ever run this fast just to catch a train in your life, but you remember what happened to kaminari when he ended up late during mr. aizawa's morning class and you'd rather not have to run extra laps.

so you run, and before you can reach for the doors, an arm stops them from closing just in time for you to jump in.

thanking everything that was holy, you jump in ready, to profusely thank your saviour. but you stop short when you realise who had saved you.

one of your classmates, bakugou katsuki.

"oh." you can't stop yourself from releasing the sound when you see him, but manage to fix your face and offer him a smile.

bakugou squints at you, scoffing before looking away.

well, you'd expected something like this.

you didn't talk to bakugou much. you'd always found him and his quirk amazing, especially during training, and he was actually a really good sparring partner. he took you seriously and he was more clever then you thought he was.(with the way he was always rushing into fights head first)

he also gave you a semblance of advice one time, at least you think so...there was definitely some type of advice hidden in between all that cursing.

but he was objectively quite the asshole.

the only reason you even started hanging out was because kirishima liked to invite him to hang out with you all during lunch. sometimes he tagged along, and sometimes he told him to fuck off. but kirishima always being determined and naturally friendly never stopped asking him. you assume that's why he'd been coming along with you guys more often now. guess nobody could resist the boy's manly charm.

and yeah, he was a dick. but you had to admit his quips and his back and forth with sero was pretty funny. the problem was that you have a feeling he doesn't like you. you specifically, for a reason you're unaware of.

you'd never been rude to him, not even teasing him as much as the rest of your friend group did (watching him blow up was always funnier anyway) but despite that it just seemed like he couldn't tolerate being around you for some reason. he always keeps his responses short and snippy, never even looking your way when you tried to strike conversation.

kirishima had told you once he was probably "just awkward, he's just that kinda guy ! maybe he's just too shy talk to you !" which you highly doubted but decided to keep your mouth shut.

you won't force conversation with him, you had no obligation to. but you do feel thankful that he hadn't let you embarrass yourself. and you really wanna thank him.

it takes you a few minutes to catch your breath, and three stops to find the courage to actually talk to him. but before you can open your mouth again, a huge group of people storm into the train, leaving you to gasp in surprise.

what the hell ? there aren't supposed to be so many people here, at least not in your sacred train !! what was going on ?!

to your utter dismay and irritation, you're being pushed and shoved around for other people to claim their places, growing more annoyed at the people shoving and insisting their was space and telling others to "please move along!"

"fucking hell..." you mutter, irritated.

"could fuckin' say that again."

you look up to see bakugou looking ahead at nothing. his scowl is ever present, if not harsher, and he grunts when he feels someone shove his shoulder, shoving them back with a growl. must be nice having balls of steel.

"oh, woops. sorry.." you apologise, trying your very best not to press up against him too much. despite the train crowding more and more.

"whatever. just stop squirming."

"it's not like i'm doing it on purpose !" you hiss defensively. bakugou rolls his eyes, but remains quiet.

you feel an arm in you rib and instinctively lean away, thus closer to bakugou. his eyes flit down towards you, but again, he says nothing.

"ugh—uhm, thank you—for this morning." you whisper, you're close enough where you're sure he can hear you. "you really saved me back there." you joke.

bakugou doesn't miss a beat, looking down at you with an eyebrow raised "yeah well. guess i felt nice for a change and didn't want you to embarrass yourself, running after the train like an idiot."

your face warms and you furrow your brows 'i was gonna make it."

he huffs out a laugh, you think this is the first time you've seen him do anything but frown. "sure, keep telling yourself that."

suddenly, the train comes to an abrupt halt. causing passengers to exclaim and jolt around, one such passenger bumps against you, shoving you forward. you trip, landing straight against bakugou's chest. your nose hurts as soon as you make contact. you'd seen how ripped this guy was, but was he genuinely made out of fucking stone ?!

your eyes snap open when an arm—his arm, wraps around your shoulder to stabilise you, he mutters curses under his breath towards the train constructor. he smells nice. you brace yourself against his chest.

"watch it, dumbass." he warns lowly. his voice quivers just a bit, like he's holding something back.

"...sorry. my bad." you squeak. the next time the train comes to a halt, you practically jump away from each other, avoiding looking each other in the eye while still being forced so close. you do notice the way that bakugou's arm stays behind your shoulder just a little bit longer. you notice but pretend you don't. looking up at him through the corner of your eye you see the way his jaw is set tight. you quickly look away.

(you don't notice him looking at you.)

after a certain stop, the train finally empties out. you take a deep breath, giving bakugou one last glance before finding a free spot to sit and finally relax your shoulders.

you jump when bakugou sits in the spot beside yours. there weren't that many left open, but there were definitely still way more free spots away from you.

"thanks, again." you mutter, avoiding eye contact.

bakugou grits his teeth, groaning like you saying those words pained him. or irritated him (or both.)

"stop thanking me, just didn't wanna get knocked over. fuckin' bastards fell limp like a stack of dominoes.."

his response makes you snorts unexpectedly, "yeah, it's usually not this full."

"s'cus the previous train got cancelled. somethin' about an accident." your classmate explains.

you blink in surprise, was bakugou—your most explosive antisocial classmate—actually having a genuine conversation with you ?!

and suddenly you can't think of anything else to say besides "oh, makes sense."

"well, anyway...even if you didn't mean to, i'm glad. means i won't have to get crucified by mr. aizawa for being late.."

bakugou scoffs, but it sounds almost like a disguised laugh.

the announcer calls for the next stop, two more stops and you'll get off.

then, a lightbulb.

"oh, hey. i didn't know you took this train too ! i've never seen you."

bakugou doesn't look at you, squinting at himself through the opposite window, his leg bounces.

"usually sit in the front."

you raise an eyebrow "what made you come to the back ?"

"q-quit questioning me, dammit ! your ass should be grateful i was even in the back so you didn't fuckin' slice your hand off !"

now this was more like the bakugou you were familiar with, and for some reason this puts you at ease. you laugh at his defensiveness, and bakugou visibly un-tenses. he leans back and rests his head into his palm, muttering about you being "so damn weird..."

you manage to arrive to school without any further hiccups. and despite bakugou not actively making conversation with you, his strides almost match yours, like he wants you to catch up to him. and even though he barely gives you a nod when you wave at him later in between classes, you feel like you've gotten closer to him somehow. anyway, you're just glad to know he doesn't despise you.

when kirishima invites him to hang out during lunch today and you and your other friends wait for a response from him, some of your friends egging him on, you catch the way his eyes meet yours before he reluctantly agrees, calling your friends "fuckin' clingy".

he sits next to you during lunch.

kaminari whines about it, saying something about how he stole his spot.

"you snooze you fuckin' lose, dunce face." bakugou quips, causing your table to laugh.

unbeknownst to you, bakugou wonders why he'd decided to agree to hang out with you all more and more often lately. you and your lame ass friends had become a constant nuisance in his life. especially you.

ever since he'd noticed you, really noticed you and your strength when you'd paired up with him during training, you'd always been hanging in the back of his mind. your voice was always the first one he heard in crowds, your face was always the one he just so happened to look for see first, and your stupid perfume seemed to cling to him everywhere he went, ultimately always leading him to you.

shit, you were really fucking annoying.

unbeknownst to you, bakugou wonders why he decided to sit in the back as well.

cashmoneyyystuff © 2025. hey, this is my stuff ! please don't copy or modify it, that's very weird and lame and i'll cry. if you want to take inspiration from one of my works, just let me know or mention me in your post <3

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[elssero]

pros and cons of my faves being your roommate!

includes- bakugo, kirishima, denki, sero, shinso, izuku, shigaraki and monoma ! (college au makes most sense)

-inspired by @tokeposts post about shinso being a bad roommate ily toke.

bakugo is very clean, he tidies up after himself very well, as in you’ll hardly find even a trace of him living in your shared areas. he’s also an amazing cook, and while he won’t make meals specifically for you in the beginning, if he has leftovers i’d imagine he may leave tupperware with the note ‘leftovers, help yourself.’

however, i think he’s loud. and in the most inconvenient times. its 8am and he’s blasting music while he works out and ur suffering from a horribleee hangover, he does not care.

i would imagine it takes him awhile to open up to you, but when he eventually does he would much rather cook or go to the gym with you compared to watching a movie on the couch. overall a 8/10 roommate because i cannot forgive the early morning wake ups.

kirishima is an absolute sweetheart, introduces himself straight away and attempts to spend time with you immediately. he’s a great conversationalist and i think he would be amazing at making you feel safe and comfortable.

however, i think he’s clumsy. like your replacing your plates once a month type clumsy. he doesn’t mean it! and he always (tries) to clean up after himself! maybe it’s also that he doesn’t quite know his own strength, shattering glass that takes 20 minutes to clean up with just his grip.

he opens up immediately though, offers to walk you to class (even when he doesn’t have one himself sometimes, but you don’t need to know that.) i think he would also introduce you to his friends too, but he always asks very politely before he invited anyone over!

denki is a horrible roommate. he’s messy and forgetful and he can’t cook and god forbid you ask him to do some laundry for you, he’s completely and utterly hopeless.

it’s a shame that he’s so funny. like an absolute joy to be around. he’s interested in you immediately (in more ways than one) and he takes every opportunity to be around you. hes also super good at finding cheep local places for food and drinks etc, always begging to take you to this new restaurant he’s been dying to try.

‘hey so i burnt our dinner, how about i order us takeout and we watch a movie instead?’ -and so becomes your little thursday night tradition of trying all the takeout places that’ll deliver to your place and watching cringy movies to go along with it. it’s adorable really. he SHOULD be like a 2/10 but he’s so charming it makes it hard.

sero is the chillest guy ever, i believe he was brung up with proper manners and he knows how to take care of himself, it’s a very favour for favour situation. he cooks and you do dishes, you do laundry and he takes out the trash, it’s very domestic from the get go.

however, i think he has a problem with just inviting people over. getting home from a longgg lecture and suddenly there’s three boys in your house that you’ve never met and your subjected to a round of questioning when all you want to do is go to bed. sometimes it feels as though he always has company.

he’d realise pretty fast that it was irritating you though, suddenly your getting messages ‘when will you be home so i can kick denki out so we can hang out.’ it’s sweet. i believe he would be more of a series guy than the movie type. don’t you dare watch an episode without him.

shinso is respectful, he never touches any of your stuff, never gets in your way or makes you uncomfortable, you can just go about your life while having him as your roommate.

but you never see him. you hear him, sometimes at all hours of the night when he’s up finishing a project or showering at 4am when you have a lecture at 8. i think he’s also a procrastinator, you ask him to take out the trash at 7.30 before you leave and you get back at 3 and the trash still isn’t taken out.

sometimes you wake up to a delivery from your favorite breakfast spot on the counter though, so that makes up for it.

izuku is so kind, while he’s a little hopeless at first, he’s very eager to learn. you do have to teach him how to do the laundry and how to use the stove, but he gets it after a few tries. once you begin splitting up the household tasks, things get alot easier. especially when you keep finding your favourite snacks in the fridge.

he can sometimes be overbearing, he won’t go as far as to sneak into your room to try and see what type of stuff your into but he might sneak a peak when you leave ur room.

hugeeee on studying together! brings home ur favorite coffee during finals season and you guys spend hours at the table working at your respective subjects, it’s a fun time.

shigaraki is quiet, most of the time, minus the rare scream at his pc. he doesn’t cook- and he sure as hell doesn’t clean, but he also doesn’t really make any mess, barely leaves his room and orders take out for every meal so he’s not really causing much harm.

it’s definitely you that has to make the move to get to know him. he could go months without speaking to you and everything would be fine for him, until you have enough of course.

once he realised that your okay to hang around with you guys start gaming together, he introduces you to his friends over vc and he gets teased relentlessly for taking forever to become your friend. he starts ordering take out for two.

monoma is the fucking worst, absolutely helpless, huge rich kid energy, i’d even go as far to say he genuinely offers to pay you to do his half of the household chores. if you refuse he’ll probably mope around for a few days before he begrudgingly asks you how to use the washing machine, it’s a grilling few weeks, but you guys get over it.

he’s a hugeee gossiper, knows everything about everyone, you find out things about people that you don’t even know, he can piont to have the people on your walk to campus and tell you a story about them. absolute shit stirrer.

offers to take you to this super nice restaurant free of charge… makes up for the weeks you spend literally teaching him to be an adult… no other reason… it’s literally only to make things even… definitely not a date….

[drowning-in-paragraphs]

hiiiiiii,

Can I request a Jude Bellingham imagine where you’re in the Bellingham documentary for his YouTube and it shows you behind the scenes watching his games and stuff and just being a cute couple 💓.

Thank Youuuuuu💓✨

a/n: sorry for the delay, I don't know why but it took me a while to write it. I hope you like it. Request me whatever you want!

THE ONE

jude bellingham x gf!reader

warnings: none, just that English is not my first language.

summary: It’s her turn to step into the spotlight of Jude’s documentary, where unseen moments reveal the depth of their connection, exposing a side of their relationship and how much they mean for each other to the public.

The camera lens focuses, the soft hum of equipment fills the room, and she sits on their cozy, cream-colored couch. Her hands are folded nervously on her lap, her leg bouncing ever so slightly as she adjust her position, trying to find the perfect balance between comfort and confidence. Her hair falls softly around her face, and she tucks a strand behind her ear, looking up at the camera with a genuine smile. A nervous chuckle escapes her as she glances toward the crew and to him.

Jude stands just out of the frame, leaning against the wall, giving her a reassuring nod, his warm smile reaching his eyes. He mouths, "You got this," and she exhales deeply, trying to calm the butterflies in her stomach. His presence is comforting, just like it always is.

"Hi, I'm...well, Jude's girlfriend," she says. "But, more than that, I’m just me—someone who tries to support him, love him, and keep him grounded." Her voice is gentle, but there’s a quiet strength in it, one that suggests she's much more than just his partner.

The interviewer asks the first question, something light to ease her in. "How did you two meet?"

She smiles wider and looks down for a moment, as if reliving the memory. “We actually met through mutual friends. Super normal. I didn’t know much about football back then, but of course I was fully aware of who he was. In person, he was even more handsome and charming, so it wasn’t a surprise that I was attracted to him straight away.” She laughs at herself. “Because of that, I spent most of the night ignoring him since I was dying of embarrassment and it wasn’t until I spilled a drink on his shirt that I was able to look him in the eye to apologize, but Jude just laughed. From then on, we spent the whole night talking, even over text afterward. We got along pretty quickly, but we took things slow. I think that’s what made it work… just letting everything happen naturally.”

As she speaks, the screen fades into footage of the two of them, candid moments from Jude's life. There's a clip of them walking hand in hand, Jude glancing over at her, his face lighting up in a way that's impossible to fake. Another video shows them sitting on a couch, laughing at something on TV. Jude’s arm is casually draped around her shoulders, his thumb gently rubbing circles on her arm. The chemistry is effortless, easy.

Back in the interview, she’s asked about how their relationship has evolved with Jude’s career skyrocketing.

"Honestly, it’s been crazy," she admits. "His schedule is intense, and sometimes we’re apart for long stretches. But we’ve always made it a priority to stay connected. We FaceTime all the time, even if it’s just to say goodnight. And when he’s home, we make sure to enjoy the little things—going on walks, cooking together, just spending time. Those are the moments that matter most."

Suddenly, Jude’s voice breaks in from off-camera, clearly teasing her. “Yeah, well burning food doesn’t count as cooking, love.”

She laughs, shaking her head, the sound of his voice immediately softening her expression. “He’s talking about his abilities,” she replies with a grin. The off-screen laughter from the crew adds to the playful atmosphere.

The next part of the interview focuses on her relationship with Jude’s family, something that’s been a big part of his life. Clips play of her with Jude’s younger brother, Jobe, during a family dinner. They’re joking around, Jobe and her teasing Jude and him complaining about their alliance. Another clip shows her talking to Jobe who’s clearly comfortable with her, and at one point, she playfully nudges him, making everyone laugh. Then, she’s shown with Jude’s parents, Denise and Mark, during a relaxed family gathering. She’s sitting next to Denise, the two of them talking and laughing as if they’ve known each other forever. The bond is clear—she fits into the family seamlessly, not as an outsider, but as someone who belongs.

"Jobe is like a little brother to me," she says with a smile when asked about him. "He’s such a good kid, and we’re always joking around. It’s just easy with him. And Jude’s parents... they’re honestly the sweetest people I’ve ever met. Denise is like a second mom to me. She’s always checking in, making sure I’m okay, especially when Jude’s away. And Mark, well... he’s the kind of dad who always has a story to tell and advice to give, whether you ask for it or not,” she adds with a laugh. “I couldn’t be luckier.”

Cut to a heartwarming montage of family moments: Jude’s girlfriend and Jobe playing video games, both of them laughing uncontrollably as Jude looks on from the side, shaking his head. Another clip shows her helping Denise in the kitchen, the two of them sharing a peaceful, easy rapport, with Mark chiming in from the dining room, to help them.

“They are awesome.”

The screen cuts to a new video clip of Jude talking directly to the camera in a different segment of the documentary. He’s sitting outside on a patio, the sun glinting off his face as he reflects.

"My mom told me pretty early on that she thought she was the one," Jude says, nodding slightly, a small smile playing at the corners of his mouth. "She said she just knew. And I trust my mom’s instincts more than anyone else’s. Honestly, I think I knew too, but hearing it from her made me super sure."

The scene shifts again, showing a playful clip of Jude and her from one of their trips. They’re by the beach, Jude holding the camera as they walk barefoot in the sand. He’s joking, trying to push her toward the water while she protests, laughing and running away. They tease each other endlessly, but the affection is obvious. Every touch, every glance, speaks volumes.

Back in the interview, Jude’s voice is heard once more, this time in a more serious tone. “She’s my rock,” he says. “People always ask me how I stay grounded, how I handle everything, and it’s her. She’s the one who keeps me steady when things get overwhelming.”

Her eyes soften as she listens to the interviewer words. "He said that?” She asks, blushing a little as the one holding the camera nods. “Well, I think we’re a team. We support each other through everything. When he's having a tough day, I’m there for him. And when I'm struggling, he’s always the first to lift me up."

The interviewer gives a knowing nod, then shifts the tone to something more playful. "Now, we’ve seen some fun clips of you two together, but who’s the bigger tease in the relationship?"

Her eyes widen slightly as she chuckles. "Oh, I know he’s going to say it’s him, but i’s definitely me. I love to tease him. He gets this little furrowed brow, and I just can’t help myself."

Another video plays, this time a candid clip of them in the living room. Jude is trying to explain some football tactic using salt shakers and a pepper grinder as players, while she watches him with an amused smile. Suddenly, she moves one of the shakers, to condiment her food, completely messing up his demonstration, and bursts into laughter when he groans dramatically, head in his hands.

Back in the interview, she shrugs innocently. "He takes it well, though. He’s a good sport about it."

Jude’s voice cuts in again. "Barely."

She bursts out laughing, shaking her head. "See? Always listening in."

The documentary closes with one last video—Jude and her sitting on the couch, his arm around her once more as they scroll through pictures on his phone. They’re laughing, teasing each other about the awkward photos, and then he pulls her close, kissing the top of her head. It’s a simple, intimate moment, but it says everything.

As the video is about to finish, she’s seen asleep in his arms and Jude’s voice comes through one last time. He looks at the camera with a smirk and whispers “Yeah... she’s the one.”

[navybrat817]

can we just take a moment to ✨appreciate✨ this? because I know where I’m looking… what about you? 😏

I'm INNOCENT, Lana. And you send me this?!

Wicked Tongue

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader Summary: Bucky has a wicked tongue. Word Count: Over 500 Warnings: Explicit sexual content, oral sex (f. receiving), reader is thirsty, Bucky Barnes (he's a warning and a menace, okay?). A/N: I swear, I'm innocent! But something short and sweet for a Sinful Saturday. ❤️Not beta read and written on my phone, so any and all mistakes are my own. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!

You tapped a finger against the drink you were holding, refusing to take a sip as you watched Bucky laugh at something Steve said. The love of your life was trying to kill you. Not literally, but it certainly felt the way. Why else would he pick a suit that molded to his beefy frame like a glove? What reason did he have to pull his silky long hair back like that?

He already had to fix it once since he decided to shove your dress up and sink to his knees before you left for the party.

“That’s it, baby. Pull my hair. Show me how much you love it when I fuck you with my tongue.”

As much as you loved Bucky eating you out, he loved it even more. You were certain there wasn’t another man on the planet who enjoyed the taste of pussy as much as he did. You ignored the twinge of jealousy because it wasn’t just any pussy he wanted. It was yours and yours alone.

Hell, if someone told him the sun rose in the east and set in the west, he’d argue that it went up when your legs opened and went down when they closed. Because the entrance to heaven existed between your thighs and it was only fair that he worshiped it with his mouth. You blessed him when you came on his tongue and he lapped up your offering with a groan every single time.

It felt almost as good as when you fell apart on his cock.

“Fuck,” you whispered when he swiped his tongue along his lip again.

Each time his tongue darted out of his mouth was like a personal attack, a jab to your core. You could still feel the indents from his fingers when he gripped your ass, shoving his face as close as he could so he could lick his way into your dripping cunt. The iron-clad grip nearly kept you from rocking your hips down, but it couldn’t stop the hot slick that rushed out of you when you came.

“Make a mess all over my face. Wanna taste you later.”

As if he sensed your stare, his sapphire eyes glanced your way from across the room and you forgot how to breathe. The beautiful bastard stared right at you as he dragged his tongue over his lower lip, slowly, deliberately. The way he sometimes did with your clit. You didn’t have super soldier strength, but you nearly shattered the glass in your hand from how hard you squeezed it when he winked.

And your panties were wet before, but now they were soaked.

You nodded toward the hall since you couldn’t find your voice. Bucky would help you find it. He’d make sure you moaned his name. Maybe even loud enough for everyone to hear.

“Excuse me, punk,” Bucky said to his best friend before he set his drink down. “In the mood for something a little sweeter.”

Something only you could satisfy his wicked tongue with.

We deserve this, okay? Love and thanks for reading! ❤️

Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi

[inkandstardusts]

honey i laugh when it sinks in

part i of ii

summary: Patrols with Joel are usually always the same. He leads and you follow. It's what works. Until one night when you confess far too much and it opens up a can of worms that neither of you can seem to put away.

word count: 3.9k

rating: mature

warnings/tags: mentions of alcohol, mentions of guys being creeps (not Joel), age gap (Joel is 54 and reader is 26), reader is AFAB but no overt descriptions otherwise, no smut (YET) but there are allusions to it

a/n: i'm going to be so real with you - i don't go here. this writing blog is something i created years ago as a teenager to write about medici, masters of florence and i really haven't used it since except to reblog random good luck posts in the hopes that it might work. what can i say, i'm superstitious sometimes. anyways, i've recently been devouring joel fics on here and have missed writing so i decided to take a stab at this. please let me know what you think! i love feedback. thank you for reading!

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　

You’re not sure how you reached this point. Discussing sex with Joel Miller of all people. You’ve never been friends, not even acquaintances really. You get along with him well enough during patrols mostly because you stay silent and follow exactly what he says. He doesn’t take well to people not following instructions and you’re fine with that. You’re not the biggest fan of how grumpy he can be, how easily irritable he is when people don’t listen to him. But you cut him some slack, given he’s twice your age and all burly muscle and perpetual gowns. Life has been hard on everyone, and you’ve heard whispers of what happened to him so you’re always kind and gracious. When you were a little girl, your mother had told you that it was your biggest strength. You have to remind yourself of that sometimes though, when you’re on patrol with Joel Miller and he’s barking orders. 

Your second biggest strength, at least right now, might be your big mouth. You had no intention of talking about sex tips from a shitty magazine with Joel Miller. Truly. You had woken up from your afternoon nap and gotten ready for your shift before you had met Joel at the gates. He had nodded at you, mouth slightly twitching in what you assumed was a greeting before leading the way. You hadn’t even had a chance to nod back. You had followed him silently, trudging through the fresh bed of snow that blanketed the ground. It softened your steps, and you allowed your shoulders to relax, not having to worry about walking as silently as possible. The snow however, had gone from gentle flurries to a violent outburst. Your eyes had been squinting, trying to make out Joel’s hulking figure as he cut through the snow. You had been too far out to go back and there was no way you would be able to camp out. You followed him until you finally saw a faint outline of something, far ahead. 

“What’s that?” you had asked and he hadn’t said anything. A few moments later you had found yourself in a cabin. It was cold and smelled sort of stale but it was shelter and you weren’t one to complain about being out of the snow. Joel had handed you a quilt, worn and fraying, and you had stripped out of your wet jacket. You had watched as he walked around, inspecting the windows and locks before he had finally settled across from you, a similar quilt around his own shoulders. 

“We can wait out the storm in here,” he had said. You had nodded. It was silent after that and you didn’t do well with silence so you had reached for a worn magazine you found stuffed between the couch cushions. It was a worn, torn issue of Cosmopolitan. You were fairly sure your mother used to buy a copy once a month when she’d take you grocery shopping with her but you had been far too young to actually read them. When you had looked up at Joel, his head had been tilted back against the armchair he had settled in, his eyes closed. As you had perused the pages you came across a column about sex tips. You had glanced up at Joel, making sure his eyes were still closed before you started reading. 

“Slip a donut around his penis, and slowly eat it off.”

Before you had realized what you were doing, you had snorted, quite loudly if you were being honest. Joel’s head had snapped up, eyes blinking open. His eyebrows had furrowed as he had looked at you.

“What?” he had asked, not angry, but somewhat annoyed at being disturbed. 

Which is how you had found yourself here, in this moment. Your eyes widen and your brain is suddenly blank. 

“Nothing,” you say, far too quickly. You can feel the heat in your face, and you know you must look guilty although you have no reason to be. Joel raises a brow, still looking unamused. His eyes shift to the magazine in your hands and something like recognition flashes across his face. 

“S’all bullshit,” he says, presumably referring to the magazine. “Those magazines never made sense.”

Now you were sort of curious. Had he read magazines like this before? Maybe when he was standing at the checkout aisles. Then again, you can’t imagine Joel Miller of all people reading a Cosmo in front of other people.

“So you’ve read them?” you ask, voice quiet. 

“No,” he says. Maybe a bit too quickly but you won’t call him out on it. “Just heard of ‘em is all.”

“Right,” you say, not at all convinced. It goes silent after that, but Joel doesn’t close his eyes. You blame the silence on your big fucking mouth. You’ve never been good with quietness. You always feel the need to say something, make it less awkward, at least in your mind. It’s the people pleaser in you. Which is why you feel the need to fill the silence. And since the only thing in your mind is apparently donuts and penises, the next words out of your mouth are exactly that.

“This one’s talking about putting a donut around a man’s dick.”

If a clicker came at you right at this moment, you wouldn’t even fight it. Death would be easier than the thick silence that follows. Your eyes widen right as the words leave your mouth and you cannot believe you’ve just said this. Joel seems just as surprised. He opens his mouth and then shuts it. You want the couch to swallow you, make you disappear. You’ve done it now. Whatever fragile dynamic you and Joel had created during your patrols is clearly gone. He’ll probably ask Tommy to never pair you up again. And it’s not like you’re dying to be his patrol partner but he’s good at what he does and he takes charge which means you can turn your brain off for a bit. You hate patrols, they make you anxious and on edge. But with Joel, it’s a little less. It doesn’t hurt that he’s handsome either, all golden skin, grey curls and pouty mouth. 

“Sorry,” you say, quickly. “I don’t know why I just said that.”

“S’fine,” Joel says, shifting. He looks uncomfortable.

“Really,” you continue going on, trying to make it better but probably digging yourself deeper. “I don’t even know what I’m talking about. It’s not like I’ve ever had sex. Or even been in a relationship. I just didn’t know that that’s what people did back then. I mean I guess it makes sense. If food wasn’t scarce, surely people would be curious to, like, try stuff with it. It’s sort of funny.”

You’re not even sure what you’re saying at this point. All you know is that Joel’s expression is something you’ve never seen before. He looks perplexed, still grumpy and there’s something else there that you can’t put your finger on. 

“Right,” Joel says. His shoulders are tense. 

“Sorry,” you say again. “Just pretend I said nothing.”

You put the magazine down, ready to pretend to fall asleep so you can brood in your embarrassment. You’re pretty sure Joel is going to ignore you until you get back to Jackson which is fine with you. Less opportunities to stick your foot in your mouth. Which is why you’re surprised when you hear his low drawl.

“Wasn’t like that,” he says. Your head snaps in his direction. 

“What do you mean?” you ask. 

“The stuff,” he says, still uncomfortable. He points vaguely in the direction of the magazine on the ground. “Those magazines were always talkin’ shit. Dunno anyone who ever actually listened to them.”

“Oh,” you say. “So women weren’t putting donuts on penises?”

You mean it as a joke. You hope it lands. When Joel cracks half a smile, you slump in relief. 

“Well maybe,” he says. “Seems like a waste of a donut.”

“Agreed,” you say. The last time you had a donut, a real donut, you had probably been seven. It’s been almost nineteen years since. “I would kill for a donut.”

There’s a pregnant pause and then Joel clears his throat.

“So you’ve really never…” he starts and then tapers off, watching you carefully. You feel your cheeks warm. 

“No,” you say, quickly. You’re not embarrassed. You’re not. You know you could if you really wanted to. It just never felt right. And relationships are too much effort and the guys your age in Jackson are immature. Your friends don’t seem to mind but you do. 

“Alright,” he says. There’s no judgement in his tone but you feel the need to defend yourself. 

“It’s just stressful,” you say. “And guys my age are awful. They think they’re hot shit because they know how to shoot. Or fight.”

“Alright,” he says again. “None of my business anyways.”

“Well you asked,” you say.

“Right,” he says. Is that all he can say? You think about it some more, as the silence settles over you both. Maybe you should just get it over with. You live in a post apocalyptic world, it’s not like romance will be easy to come by. You’ve killed zombies but you haven’t had sex because you’re holding out for…whatever it is you’re looking for. At this point, you don’t even know what yourself. Maybe it’s the fact that you’ve already spoken far too much about things Joel has no business knowing but you might as well voice your thoughts. Maybe he’ll have an opinion. Older people have good advice. Sometimes. 

“Maybe I should just get it over with,” you say and you turn your head to look at Joel. 

His eyes are closed but you see him stiffen. Okay, maybe you shouldn’t have said anything. Maybe now you’ve really crossed a line. 

“Don’t know if I’m the one you should be talkin’ to about this,” he says, finally. 

“Right,” you say, echoing him from earlier. “Sorry.”

“Stop apologisin’,” he says. “You do it far too much.”

“Sorr -” you start saying before you close your mouth.

“There’s no rush,” he finally says. “It’s whatever you want. Shouldn’t make y’self do something you don’t want to do.”

It’s good advice. A sweet sentiment, really. You hum in response. 

“Thanks Joel.”

He grunts in response and that’s the end of the conversation. 

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It’s as if your conversation with Joel opened up a can of worms. You can’t stop thinking about sex. Not even just sex. But sex with Joel. And yeah, maybe you’re a bit tipsy right now but it plagues your sober mind too. You’re not even sure how it began. One minute, you and Joel were returning back to Jackson and then a few hours later you had woken up from a dream so vivid, of you on his lap in the exact cabin you had been in earlier, squirming against him. Your subconscious is clearly trying to tell you something. And that something is that you need to get laid. Your mind had just decided to imprint on Joel because of recency bias. Or something. And okay, maybe it isn’t that far fetched since Joel is handsome, all big arms and brown eyes but it’s still insane. You can’t act on it. He’d probably have a stroke. Hell, you’d probably have a stroke trying to instigate something. That is, if Joel didn’t tell you off first. And get you kicked off of patrols. And maybe out of Jackson. Maria would probably not allow it to happen. She’s always had a soft spot for you. And if there’s one person that Joel listens to, it’s Maria. 

You’re pulled out of your thoughts by a pint glass being placed in front of you. When you look up, Maya is smiling at you, a twinkle in her eye.

“You’re thinking about something,” she says, sliding into the seat across from you. You could play it off but she’s your best friend. She would know. Instead you take a sip, allowing the warmth of the beer to settle in your gut. It’s your third one and you can feel the tips of your fingers beginning to tingle. It feels nice. 

“I am,” you finally say. She leans forward, waiting for you to say more. You look around, making sure no one is listening. The lights of The Tipsy Bison cast the whole room in a warm glow. “I had a sex dream.”

“Oh?” Maya says. “Do tell.” 

“It was about,” you start, before taking a deep breath. You look around once more, just to make sure. “Joel Miller.”

Maya’s eyes widen, almost comically. She lets out a squawk, almost like a bird. 

“Joel Miller?” she repeats, much louder than you. 

“Shut up,” you hiss. “You want everyone to know?”

“Sorry,” she says, quickly. “But babe, everyone in here is drunk as a skunk and the music’s way too loud. If anyone’s listening to us, they’re being creepers.”

Then, “so what was it like?” 

Your face warms at the memory. You can barely remember it except for how you had woken up with sticky thighs. That and how he had you in his lap, fingers curled inside you and whispering something filthy in your ear. You had woken up and shoved your hands into your underwear. It had barely taken anything before you fell apart. You tell her as much and she grins. 

“You dirty girl,” she says and you blush. “You’ve got the hots for an old man.”

“He’s not that old,” you say, but it’s weak to your own ears. 

“He’s like sixty,” Maya says. 

“Fifty-four,” you quickly correct her, and she grins. 

“Whatever floats your boat,” she says. “I’m just happy you’re finally into someone. I’ve been waiting for this day.”

You scoff. “Yeah, because now I can tell him and we can live happily ever after.”

Maya raises a brow. “You’re not even going to try?”

You laugh. She can’t be serious. But the look on her face tells you otherwise.

“Maya,” you start. “Have you met him? He’s grumpy and intimidating.”

“And it makes you all hot and bothered,” she says and you swat at her from across the table. She laughs and you can’t help but smile. 

“I regret telling you this,” you say. She wiggles her eyebrows. 

“Nah you don’t,” she says. “Drink up.”

A few other people join your booth, courtesy of Maya. At some point, you’re given a shot, which you gladly take, and in your state of drunkenness, you get another beer. It’s the most you’ve drunk in a long while but it’s Friday and you don’t have patrol until Monday so you allow it. All the drinking does get to you and at some point, you excuse yourself and make your way to the bathroom. You’re not stumbling, but you’re definitely holding onto chairs as you meander past people. The bar is busy today and you feel content at the chatter of voices and the strum of music that fills the room. When you get to the bathroom it’s occupied, so you wait outside, impatiently tapping your foot against the ground. You really have to pee and the more you think about it the worse it gets. When the door opens, you’re about ready to run in until you look up to find Joel Miller staring at you.

The first thought in your mind is that he looks good. His hair is slicked back and he’s wearing a flannel but the sleeves are rolled up, exposing his forearms. His shoulders look extra broad in this light. Or maybe it’s the shot of tequila you just had. Either way, you stand up straighter, swaying slightly. He reaches out, steadying you with a hand on your arm. 

“Joel,” you say. “Hi.”

“Evenin’,” he greets. His hand is still on your arm. It’s so warm. You don’t realize that you’ve said this out loud until he moves it away.

“You alright?” he asks, and you nod.

“Yeah!” you say, with much more enthusiasm than you would if you were sober. “I’m so good. How are you?”

He nods. “Well I should head back. Let you use the bathroom n’all.”

You don’t want him to leave. You want him to talk to you. Your drunk brain is needy, apparently. And an even bigger blabbermouth than sober you was at the cabin which is why you end up saying what you say.

“I had a dream about you,” you say. His eyes widen, and his shoulders tense. “It was nice.”

He clears his throat. 

“Yeah?” he asks, and maybe it’s you, but his voice sounds deeper. 

“Yeah,” you say, nodding back. Maybe Maya was right. Maybe Joel will do something now that you’ve gotten the ball rolling. 

Joel looks like he’s about to say something else but then he stiffens again, standing up straight. 

“I’ll tell your friend to get you some water,” he says. “Go use the bathroom. You’re drunk.”

He sounds annoyed now, like an angry parent. It irritates you. You’re not some kid. You’re twenty-six. You don’t need him treating you like one. 

“I’m fine,” you say, pushing past him and into the bathroom. You don’t look at him when you shut the door. You pee, before you wash your hands and splash some water on your face. Everything’s still hazy and the alcohol is still heavy in your bloodstream but you start to feel some embarrassment about what you’ve just said to Joel. Clearly for some reason your subconscious is yet to tell you, you have some sort of agenda of making things awkward with him. 

When you come out of the bathroom, you walk straight into someone. When you pull away, you look up to see a familiar face. It’s one of the guys that had been sitting at your booth. Michael? Mitch? Something with an M but you couldn’t for the life of you remember. 

“Sorry,” you say. You try to side-step him but his arm comes up, blocking you.

“Hey, no worries. You’re all good,” he says and you smile, nodding. “I was actually hoping to catch you alone.”

“Oh,” you say. He smiles at you, sort of bashful.

“Yeah,” he says. “Wanted to see if you wanted another drink. Maybe we could talk somewhere quieter.”

Perhaps it’s all the sex you’ve been thinking about but your mind is suddenly telling you to just do it. Go with not-Michael or maybe-Mitch and get some and then perhaps you’ll stop fantasizing about Joel Miller. 

“Okay,” you find yourself agreeing and he looks relieved. He places a hand at the small of your back, guiding you towards the bar. He orders you a pint of beer and leans closer to you, whispering something in your ear that you don’t catch because there’s suddenly a shadow to your left. When you look, it’s Joel Miller. Once again. 

You don’t really believe in God but you wonder if someone is bored up there and playing some sort of prank on you. 

Not-Michael turns to look at Joel too. There’s a scowl on Joel’s face, subtle but there. His eyebrows are furrowed.

“She’s drunk enough already,” he says to maybe-Mitch. Maya is behind him, looking at you with a glint in her eyes. She’s holding a glass of water. Faintly, you wonder how Joel knew to find her. But your mind is far too preoccupied with what’s going on. 

“I’m fine,” you bite back. 

“Didn’t seem fine when you were swayin’ in front of the bathroom,” Joel counters, jaw clenched.

“She said she’s fine man,” whatever-his-name says. “You can fuck off.”

You stiffen, shifting away from him.

“Actually, maybe he’s right. I am pretty drunk,” you say. Maya steps towards you. 

“I was gonna head out,” she says. “Wanna come with?” 

You nod. You turn to the guy in front of you, who now looks angry. His jaw is clenched. 

“Sorry,” you say, not feeling sorry at all. You think of Joel telling you to stop apologizing. Before he can say anything, you turn to Joel and nod.

“Goodnight,” you say and he nods. He walks away right after but you can feel his gaze on you as you and Maya leave arm in arm. 

When you’re both outside, Maya giggles.

“I’m not even saying this because I’m kinda buzzed but there’s something there,” she says. Usually you would scoff, brush it off. But you think of Joel, how he had looked at you in front of the bathroom, how he had found Maya for you and made sure you were okay. And you wonder if maybe she’s right. 

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You’re woken up by knocking on your door. It’s not that early but it’s still quiet out. It can’t be Maya since she’s definitely still asleep. Maybe it’s your neighbour, you think, as you make your way downstairs. Mrs. Alvarez sometimes brings by fresh bread if she has extra. But she usually waits until later in the day. When you open the door, you wonder if you’re still dreaming. Joel Miller is standing on your porch, coat on and face red from the chilled morning air. He looks like he can’t believe he’s here either. 

“Joel?” you say, sounding as confused as you feel. 

“Just wanted to make sure you were doin’ alright,” he says. 

“Oh,” you say. “M’fine. Just tired.”

“Right,” he says. He steps back and then speaks again. “And I wanted to apologize. Not my place to tell you what to do.”

You feel something warm settle in your chest.

“It isn’t,” you agree. “But you were looking out for me. I appreciate it.”

He nods. He hesitates before he speaks. 

“Guys like Mason aren’t good news,” he says. “He’s always trying to get with drunk girls. Not that I’m sayin’ you’re vulnerable or anything, just that I’ve seen the way he is. He’s on probation with the council.”

Your eyes widen. You feel foolish. The one time you entertain a guy and he ends up being a grade-A creep. 

“I’m an idiot,” you say and Joel shakes his head.

“Nah, you’re not. He’s the creep. Not your fault,” he says, voice warm. You laugh, weakly.

“Thanks,” you say. Joel hesitates. And then he steps forward. You’re pretty sure your heart stutters.

“If you wanted,” he begins and then stops. He runs a hand through his hair. “If you’re curious about all that stuff we were talkin’ about on patrol. I could,” he hesitates here. You’re fairly sure this is a dream. Some elaborate fantasy your mind has concocted. Still, you speak.

“You could what?” you ask, voice quiet. He looks directly at you now.

“I could help you out,” he says. “I could show you.”

As soon as he says it, he’s stepping away, heading back down the steps of your porch. 

He turns back, looking at you. “You don’t have to answer now,” he says. “I want you to think about it.”

He leaves you there, stunned. When you shut your door, you make sure to lock it before you head to your coach and lay down. You don’t need to think about it. You already know what your answer will be. 

[torchflies]

The real reason why our favorite green-eyed gremlin has no family besides Carole, Bradley and Goose. (WARNING, READ TAGS).

Maverick was born behind a neon-lit bar on the Lower East Side of Manhattan, sometime in 1964. His father, a traitor who went down in ‘Nam. His mother, a dancer who disappeared as quickly as she arrived, left him sitting in an alley at two years old, wearing a paisley scarf and holding a handful of pictures and papers. But the queens found him.

They were the performers of The Garden of Eve, a half-underground drag revue known for its peacock-feathered glamour, subversive laughter, and the kind of love you didn’t talk about in broad daylight. All they had was each other and now — they had a little boy to raise. Miss Ruby D’Vine was the first to pick him up. “Well hello, little love,” She said, cradling him in rhinestone-covered arms. “We didn't ask for you, but some of the best things come from the clearance rack, darling.”

By the time he was ten, Maverick could hot-roll a wig, cinch a corset, and quote lines from Mildred Pierce with frightening accuracy. His guardians — Ruby, Charis, Maude, and Auntie Legs — raised him not just to survive but to dazzle. He learned early that strength could wear false lashes and walk in six-inch heels through a thunderstorm, baby. That was how Maude came to his after-school functions, holding out her perfectly manicured hand for him to take. “Come along, Peter Pan.”

In the seventies, The Garden was more than a nightclub. It was sanctuary. It was the school of life. It was church. The queens taught Maverick everything — how to lip-sync and sew, how to stand tall when people sneered, how to throw shade that could cut and how to use glitter as both armor and gospel. They brought him to balls, they taught him how to charm his way through the doors of life.

He was sixteen the first time someone in their tight circle got sick. Miss Loretta Love started coughing backstage. “Just the flu,” She said with a painted-on smile. But she never got better. They took care of her, even as she wasted and forgot her favorite songs, forgot her dances.

They didn’t have a name for it yet — only rumors, only whispers. “Some kind of gay cancer,” The papers muttered, GRID, as if their very existence was an affliction and this was the solution. And then one by one, Maverick’s world began to vanish. Charis stopped performing and lost weight until her sequin gowns hung on her like mourning veils. Maude couldn’t hold a tune or a spoon, she went blind and then it was Maverick who buffed and painted her nails for her casket. Auntie Legs died in a hospital room alone, misgendered even on her death certificate. He screamed and hollered when they put her in a suit for the viewing. He was the only family she had left, and his mother would be buried in her best evening gown.

Maverick would sit in the dressing rooms, now quiet and haunted, staring at empty styrofoam heads. He tried to keep the club running. Ruby, who had always been the strongest, still painted on her smile but no longer performed when she couldn't cover the lesions anymore. “They’re forgetting us, Peter.” She whispered to him once, in the dark as she fought going to the ward. “Like we were never here. I'm so sorry, Peter Pan, I'm going to have go on without you.”

She found that second star and she was gone too.

But Maverick fights. He takes their lessons and carries them, even as the city turns its back. He makes flyers for memorials. He marches. He screams at politicians with no faces as he buries more friends and family than any teenager should have to. He meets the two people who are going to mean the world to him one day — at an ACT-UP march. A pair of twenty-somethings from Nowhere, Tennessee.

By the time the eighties roll in, The Garden of Eve is long shuttered, its sign rusting above boarded doors. But Maverick — no longer a boy, not yet a man — keeps a shoebox full of polaroids, press-on nails, lipstick tubes, and old ticket stubs. He calls it his inheritance.

And whenever he puts on one of Ruby’s old coats, he stands just a little taller. Because he was raised not by a village, but by a galaxy of stars, and even in grief, they taught him how to shine.

No amount of Academy rejections or Navy men bellowing in his face will ever tamp down that shine — and if he still gravitates to bar mics like the queens who raised him? Well, he's still their Peter Pan underneath this get-up.

[ginkgooou]

somewhere only we know | alexia putellas

summary: after years apart, you return to barcelona and unexpectedly reunite with alexia, your childhood best friend. a lot of unresolved feelings come to the surface.

warnings: slight angst, but happy ending (kind of)

i listened to the song when this idea popped into my head. so, it's loosely based on that. i hope you enjoy! :)

english is not my first language!

2,998 words

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you hadn't been back to barcelona in years.

walking through the familiar streets felt surreal, like stepping into a memory that was both vivid and distant. the neighborhoods, the cafés and the smell of the sea carried traces of the past - of your childhood, of the life you'd once lived here. yet, one place stood out more than anything else in your mind: the old tree on the hill, overlooking the city - the secret spot only you and alexia knew about.

alexia.

the thought of seeing her again after all these years made your heart race. you had been childhood friends, inseparable from the moment you met on the first day of school.

alexia was the one who could always make you laugh when you were feeling down, the one who truly understood you in ways no one else did, she was your best friend and maybe something more, though you hadn’t fully realized it at the time.

despite your different personalities, your connection was undeniable. she was a force to be reckoned with, exuding strength and confidence that drew people to her like a magnet. you, on the other hand, were quiet - reserved, incredibly shy, preferring books over people.

but alexia liked that about you.

whenever life got too hectic or overwhelming for her, she found refuge in your calm presence, coming over to your house and spending time with you. as you got older, she began dragging you along on little adventures - just the two of you, away from the noise and chaos.

when she needed the quiet, alexia usually took you hiking. she loved pulling you away from the bustling city and into the peace of nature, where the two of you could just breathe. you’d follow her lead, letting her guide you through the winding paths, her steps always sure and steady. sometimes you’d talk - about school, your dreams, football, or whatever was on your mind. other times, you’d walk in comfortable silence. you didn't need words all the time; it was often enough just to know that the other was there.

it was during one of those hikes, when you were around 15, that you stumbled upon your secret spot.

it was a warm afternoon, the sun filtering through the trees as you and alexia made your way up the familiar hill near barcelona. you walked in silence for most of the way, only exchanging a few words now and then. halfway up, alexia spotted a hidden, narrow path veering off to the side. she turned to you, her eyes sparkling with excitement. “come on, let’s see where this goes.”

for a moment, you hesitated, but never one to deny alexia anything, you quickly found yourself following her lead, stepping off the beaten path and into the woods.

as you ventured deeper, the trees around you grew thicker and the air became cooler. after a few minutes of weaving through the bushes and ducking under low-hanging branches, you finally broke through the underbrush and stepped out into a small clearing. there, standing tall at the edge of the forest, was an old tree, its thick branches stretching out and casting shadows on the grass. you could see the city below you, bathed in the golden glow of the afternoon sun.

“this is amazing.”, you murmured, coming to a stop next to the tree and taking in the view.

alexia grinned beside you, equally in awe. “it’s perfect.”, she said softly.

you spent hours there, talking and laughing, the world around you fading away. it became your sanctuary. a secret place to escape the noise, to escape reality and simply be yourselves.

when everything became too much, you and Alexia would find your way back to that old tree, finding peace in each other’s presence.

but it was also at that spot, that tree, where everything changed.

it was only a year later that you found out your father had gotten a job in new york, and you would be moving away in just a couple of weeks. you didn’t know how to break the news to alexia, unsure of how she’d react, so you carried the secret around for a while.

but, when you found yourself sitting beneath the tree once again and with the departure date approaching, you knew it was time to tell her.

you glanced at alexia beside you, her eyes closed, leaning against the tree with her hand resting comfortably on your knee. the moment felt so peaceful, too perfect to disrupt it with what you were about to tell her. you felt your nerves rising, your heart pounding in your chest.

finally, taking a deep breath, you broke the silence. “i need to tell you something.”, you said quietly.

alexia’s eyes fluttered open at the sound of your voice, turning her head toward you with furrowed brows, her eyes full of concern. “what’s wrong?”, she asked, giving your knee a gentle squeeze.

you couldn’t meet her eyes, knowing you'd break if you looked at her. instead, you stared on the ground, searching for the right words. “it’s about my family.”, you finally managed to say. “we’re moving. to new york.”

the silence that followed felt like an eternity, stretching between you, as she processed your words. “what?” her voice was full of disbelief. she let go of you and stood up, pacing around. “what do you mean you’re moving?”

you still didn’t look at her, fidgeting with your fingers, trying to find the courage to speak. “my dad got a job in new york. we have to go.”, you said, your voice barely above a whisper.

alexia came to a stop in front of you. when you finally looked up, you watched her face turn from shock to confusion, then to hurt. “when?”, she asked, her voice trembling.

“in two weeks…”, you told her, struggling to hold back tears as you saw the heartbreak on her face, a look you never wanted to see.

“b-but…i don’t want you to go.”, she murmured, her voice quivering as she fought to hold back tears of her own. in that moment, she looked so small and vulnerable, so unlike her.

without thinking, you stood up and pulled her into your arms, hugging her tightly. and then, the dam broke. you both let your tears flow freely, soaking each other’s shirts, the reality coming crashing down around you. her body shook with quiet sobs, her arms wrapped around you, keeping you close.

you stayed in each other’s arms for a while. when alexia eventually pulled back, her eyes were red from crying. she took a few deep breaths, trying to steady herself before speaking.

“promise me we’ll stay in touch.”, she said.

“of course.”, you replied without hesitation. “we’ll make it work. we’ll call and text every day.”

“we’ll make it work.” her gaze softened as she repeated your words quietly, as if to reassure herself.

a comfortable silence then settled between you, stood in each other's arms, processing everything.

as you held each other’s gaze, an invisible thread seemed to pull you closer. the air crackled with unspoken tension, and you felt drawn to her. unable to resist the magnetic force between you, you started to lean in.

alexia searched your eyes for a second and then, with a tenderness that made your breath hitch, she dipped her head, pressing her lips against yours.

the kiss was electric, igniting a fire deep within you. it was soft and tentative, it made your heart flutter in your chest. you could taste the saltiness of her tears mixed with the sweet hint of cherry from her lip balm.

in that moment, the world around you faded into nothingness; all your worries slipped away, leaving just the two of you on that hill. nothing else mattered but this moment, this kiss.

the kiss lingered, sending waves of warmth through you, but then, suddenly, reality hit.

what am i doing? the thought crept into your mind, breaking through the haze of the moment. your heart raced, but now for a different reason.

panic set in. you became hyper-aware of everything - alexia’s hands resting on your waist, the soft press of her lips. it felt like the world had shifted in an instant, and you weren’t ready for it. you weren’t ready for the storm of emotions building in your body, - confusion, fear, uncertainty, love - flooding in all at once.

you weren’t ready for what this meant. for you. for your friendship. you had never really thought about it before, if the things you felt for alexia were normal between friends, or if they ran deeper. it was all too much, too overwhelming.

the closeness, the intensity, it terrified you.

you pulled back suddenly, your breath catching as you put space between you. alexia’s brows furrowed, concern flickering in her eyes as she stepped toward you. “hey…what's wrong?”, she asked, her voice soft, but laced with confusion.

“i…”, you wanted to explain, but the words were stuck in your throat. the emotions were crashing down too hard, too fast. your heart pounded, a desperate need to escape overwhelmed everything else.

“i need to go.”, you blurted out. you didn’t wait for her to respond - couldn’t bear to see the hurt on her face. without thinking, you turned and ran. you fled from the moment, from her, from your feelings, from everything.

what did i just do? the question echoed in your mind, but no answer came. you had kissed alexia. you had felt something, something real and terrifying. you didn't know what to do.

the weight of it all pressed down on you, suffocating you. what did this mean for you? for alexia? for everything between you?

you had no answers. the kiss had changed everything, and now, you didn't know if you could ever go back to the way things were.

so, you avoided her.

alexia tried to reach out, her concern clear in her eyes whenever you crossed paths, but you kept your distance. you couldn't face her - not while your feelings were still a tangled mess, raw and confusing. she wanted to talk, texted you more than once, but you always found an excuse. you knew she deserved an explanation, but you weren't ready to give one, not when you didn't know what you were feeling.

time flew by and soon, you were gone. you started a new chapter in new york, far away from the memories you left behind. but guilt filled you whenever you thought about the promise you made to her: to call and text every day.

you didn’t keep your promise.

at first, you texted here and there - small talk, meaningless things. how the weather was, a funny video, updates on life that seemed trivial compared to everything left unsaid. slowly, the texts became less frequent, until eventually, they stopped altogether.

though you didn't completely let go of alexia. you still followed her from afar, watching her rise to fame - alexia, the footballer, thriving at barça and becoming a star. you cheered for her success, even though she would never know.

over the years, you often found yourself thinking about her and that moment by the tree, and every time, you wished you hadn't run away that day.

☆

now, here you were, at your secret spot, a place you held so dear to your heart. it felt strange being back after all these years, but somehow, you were drawn to it - to the place where everything went wrong.

as you stood there, the memories hit you like a wave, flooding your mind with images of her smile, her laugh, the times spent together. you remembered talking about anything and everything here. this was your place, the spot where you shared moments you'd never forget.

you sighed and closed your eyes, leaning against the tree and letting the memories wash over you. the weight of regret pressed heavily on your shoulders, this place reopening old wounds you thought had healed. you wondered what alexia was doing now, if she still came here sometimes, or if it hurt too much to even think about.

a soft crack interrupted your thoughts - a twig snapping in the distance. you turned toward the sound, looking back toward the woods. at first, you thought it was your imagination, but then, you saw her.

alexia.

you froze, your heart skipping a beat at the sight of her. she stood a few meters away, her eyes fixed on you, wide with surprise. for a moment, neither of you moved. time seemed to slow down, the world shrinking to just the two of you in this familiar place.

you opened your mouth to say something, but no words came out. you hadn't expected to see her here, not after all this time.

she took a step forward, her expression shifting, softening into an unsure smile. “you're back.”, she said.

you swallowed hard, trying to steady yourself. “yeah, i am.”, you managed to say, your voice shaking.

there was so much you wanted to say, so much you had left unsaid. you wanted to apologize, to explain why you ran, but no words left your mouth.

alexia took another step forward, coming to a halt in front of you.

“i didn't think i'd see you again after…after everything”, she said softly, her voice carrying the hurt she still felt.

your heart pounded in your chest. “i didn't think i'd come back.”, you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. “but, i did.” you paused to look at her, taking her in - she looked different, more mature, but she was still the same alexia you once knew. you continued to talk. “i've been watching you. i've been keeping up with everything.”

at that, alexia raised an eyebrow, a flicker of curiosity in her eyes. “watching me?”, she repeated.

you nodded, taking a deep breath before continuing. “your career…barcelona, the trophies…everything. i'm proud of you, ale. you achieved everything you've ever wanted.”

alexia offered a brief smile, but you could see the sadness in her eyes. “i come here sometimes, you know? this place always reminds me of you.” her gaze wondered to the city below you as she continued. “why didn't you reach out? why didn't you…come back?”

the question hung in the air between you, and your throat tightened. this was the moment where you could finally tell her everything. but now, standing in front of her, it felt impossible to explain.

“i was scared.”, you finally said, your voice trembling. “i didn't know what to do. after…after that day, everything felt so overwhelming. i didn't understand what i was feeling, or how to face it, so i ran. and i didn't come back because…i didn't know how to make things right.”

alexia looked at you, her expression softening, her eyes reflecting a mix of understanding and hurt. “i waited.”, she said quietly. “i thought…maybe you just needed time. but i waited and waited and eventually, i just stopped expecting you to reach out.”

her words hit you like a punch in the gut. you opened your mouth to speak, but nothing came out. what could you possibly say to fix this? the regret in your heart felt unbearable.

alexia let out a soft, almost bitter laugh. “i loved you, you know? i think from the moment we met. i loved you in ways i couldn't even understand at the time. and i thought…”, she paused, her voice catching as if she were trying to hold herself together. “i thought you loved me too. the way you looked at me that day…i was so sure, but then…”

there was no need to finish the sentence, you both knew what came next. you swallowed hard, your voice trembling as you finally found the strength to speak. “i did love you, ale. i think i still do. i just…i was so scared. scared of losing you, scared of what it all meant. i was scared and i ran and i regret it to this day.”

alexia's eyes glistened with unshed tears. “do you know how much it hurt?”, she asked, her voice thick with emotion. “that kiss - i thought it meant something…and then you just left me and it hurt so much. i thought i did something wrong. i knew i lost you that day, the person i trusted most in the world.”

her words broke something inside you, and tears stung your eyes. “i'm sorry.”, you whispered, your heart aching. “it did mean something. it meant everything. that's why i panicked. i was afraid of ruining what we had, of losing you if things didn't work out.”

a sad smile tugged at alexia's lips. “but you did lose me. you left me behind.” your heart twisted at her words, the full weight of what you had done settling in your chest. “i know.”, you whispered. “i can't undo the past, but i'm here now. and if you'll let me, i want to make it right.”

her eyes softened and for a moment, the air felt charged with the unspoken feelings you had buried for so long. finally, after all these years, the truth that had kept you apart was laid bare.

for a long moment, alexia was silent, her eyes locked on yours as if searching for something, some sign of the person she had once known. then, finally, she spoke, her voice soft but firm. “i don't know if we can go back to what we had…but maybe we can start over.”

you felt a wave of relief wash over you, a relieved smile tugging at your lips. “i'd like that.”, you said, eyes sparkling with hope. “more than anything.”

alexia smiled too, a small, tentative smile, and slowly, she reached out her hand. you took it, her touch gentle and familiar, the warmth of her hand seeping into your bones.

it wasn't forgiveness, not yet, but it was a start; the beginning of something new, something exciting.

[lortsyall]

Echoes of Eywa's Child.

chapter 2.

(Neteyam x Human!Reader series)

Pending...Pending...

Date: August 10th,2174.

Location: Marui,High Camp,Mons Veritatis,Hallelujah Mountains,Pandora.

Time: 1:56 PM.

Life had always demanded more of me. As the eldest son of Toruk Makto the 6th, I was born into expectations as heavy as the mountains, molded by a legacy I had no choice but to carry. For as long as I could remember, my path was laid before me—protector, warrior, leader,big brother. It was a path carved in blood and sacrifice, one I couldn’t veer from even if I wanted to.

The war had changed everything. When the RDA returned when I was only 15,four years ago, they came with the same greed, the same hunger to strip Eywa’s creation of its breath. Their machines burned forests and poisoned rivers, their soldiers brought death with cold precision. But the war wasn’t just an enemy out there—it had carved itself into me.

I’d come closer to death than I care to admit. Fleeing to the Metkayina clan with my family,away from Quaritch and his puppets,was traumatizing,to say the least.

I always fit in the Omatikaya clan. I was already respected by so many clan leaders across the globe,already seen as a strong-willed,responsible and noble young warrior. The perfect next Olo'eyktan in line. But here...at sea...I was too stubborn to learn the ways of the Metkayina,scared I might lose myself. My ancestors. My traditions. The forest...Everything.

Sooner or later though,you always have to wake up back to reality. The RDA’s ships had pursued us relentlessly, their weapons tearing through the sea and air like the rage of a storm. After saving my siblings and our friend,Tsireya,my brother insisted on saving Spider as well.

I'll admit,I followed my mother's steps in distancing myself away from him as the years went by,though the brotherly bond we have carried ever since childhood lingered like a lost memory. Plus,I couldn't deny Lo'ak anything. Not in that moment.

As soon as we turned our backs to jump into the water,though...I felt it.

I’d hit the water hard, the force ripping the breath from my lungs. I fought to surface, but the panic, the crushing weight of the sea—it almost won.

All I could hear were Lo'ak's desperate cries pulling me on an ilu as he dragged me back to shore,along with the others. When I woke up, the first thing I felt was pain—white-hot and searing, burning across my chest where shrapnel had torn through flesh. The Tsahìk saved me, but she couldn’t erase the scar, jagged and cruel, that now ran from my collarbone to just above my heart,nor the memory that came with it. A bitter reminder of how close I’d come to losing everything.

That scar has stayed with me, a mark of survival, but also of failure. I should’ve been stronger, faster, better. I’m alive, but at what cost? The memory of my siblings’ terror, my parents’ fear—it’s a weight I still carry, even in moments of peace.

Sometimes,I still hear my mother's screams late at night. It's terrifying.

And now, the war feels like a constant shadow, lingering even in the quiet. I’ve learned to keep my thoughts guarded, my fears buried. We're back in the forest,thankfully,but we still live in the Hallelujah Mountains. The clan looks to me for strength, for guidance. They see a warrior who has proven himself time and time again. They don’t see the cracks beneath, the moments when I wonder if I’ve given too much of myself to a fight that may never truly end.

I’m of age now. Been for some time. I went through all the rites of passage,starting with becoming the youngest Omatikaya to make a clean kill on the Sturmbeest hunt,going through Iknimaya,and surviving Uniltaron,the Dream Hunt. After transferring into adulthood, an Omatikaya Na'vi has two things left to do: craft a bow from the wood of the fallen Hometree,and find a mate. Yet I've checked only one thing on the list,and I guess it's obvious which one I'm talking about.

I get it. I'm 19 years old now. Old enough that the elders murmur about a mate, about settling down and adding to the clan’s numbers. My parents don’t pressure me—at least not directly—but I see it in my father’s proud nods, my mother’s quiet glances. They’re waiting for me to choose, to find someone who will stand beside me as I carry the mantle of our people. Not to mention,my brother has already been mated to Tsireya,and some people among the clan are...nosy, to say the least.

But how can I think of mates when my mind is a battlefield? When every time I look at the stars, I see the faces of those we’ve lost? Love feels like a luxury I can’t afford, a vulnerability I can’t risk. I can feel my father breathing down my neck,slowly preparing me with Olo'eyktan training. I don't even want to be the next chief. Not anymore. I’ve buried the idea so deep within me that even the thought of connection feels foreign,and I can't remember the first time I really opened up to someone. They already have their image of me.

Fierce young warrior. Next chief in line. Son of Toruk Makto. Great,right?Why should I ruin that for them?

And yet, there’s a part of me that wonders—when will I be more than this? When will I be something more than a protector, more than a warrior? Is there space for Neteyam beneath the weight of it all?

The air was thick with the smell of burning metal and the acrid tang of gunpowder. Around me, the sounds of battle echoed through the forest—the hum of RDA machinery, the snap of Na’vi bows, the shouts of humans and my people alike. My heart pounded in my chest, not from fear, but from the weight of responsibility.

My feet barely made a sound as I landed on the roof of the human truck. Beneath me, I could hear their muffled voices, panicked and sharp. They were scrambling, caught off guard by our ambush. Good.

I moved to the edge, my bow drawn and ready, scanning for my next target. That’s when I saw…her.

She was crouched behind a crate, her wide eyes darting around in terror. Her skin was almost glowing in the dim light, and her hands trembled as they gripped a human weapon. She was small, fragile even, compared to the others.

A soldier, perhaps? No, she didn’t move like one. She was scared, out of place. A tablet was in her small and dainty fingers,and it looked oddly familiar,like the ones Max and Norm usually toy with in the lab. So a scientist,then. Doesn’t matter.

I drew my bowstring tighter, the arrow poised to fly. My target was clear, my purpose steady. Until I saw it.

An atokirina.

The seed of the sacred tree floated gently down, its soft glow cutting through the chaos. My breath caught as it hovered near the girl, circling her like it was studying her. And then it landed, just for a moment, on her shoulder. Didn’t this happen to my parents when they met?

Eywa was watching. Yet the girl didn’t notice.

I hesitated, my fingers loosening on the bowstring. This wasn’t normal. The atokirina didn’t just appear without reason, and they didn’t linger around those unworthy of Eywa’s blessing. Yet here it was, touching her—a human.

Her gaze was fixed on the ground, her breathing shallow. She had no idea the seed was there, no idea what it meant,too focused on her own panicked heavy breathing.

The voices of the other warriors faded into the background. For a moment, it was just her, the glowing seed, and me.

I lowered my bow.

I could hear my father’s voice in my head, a memory from years ago: "Eywa sees more than we do, Neteyam. Sometimes, the why is not ours to understand."

“Drop it,” I said, my voice steady despite the conflict brewing inside me.

She looked up, startled, her eyes locking onto mine. Great Mother,what pretty eyes she has. It’s as if I could see her entire soul through them. For a second, I thought she might try to fight, but instead, she set the weapon down on the truck bed. Slowly, carefully.

I studied her. She was different from the others—softer, quieter. And yet, there was something in her eyes that spoke of a hidden strength. And me?Well,let’s just say there was something almost…ethereal and noble in her fear that made me admire her.

“You do not belong here,” I said.

Her lips parted, as if she wanted to respond, but no words came out. The atokirina hovered again, as if to emphasize my point, before drifting off into the trees.

I couldn’t explain why, but I felt a strange pull toward her. Not sympathy—not yet—but curiosity. Eywa had chosen her for something, and it wasn’t my place to question the will of the Great Mother.

The sound of an AMP suit crashing nearby snapped me back to reality.

“Run,” I urged her, my voice low.

“What—”

“Go!” I barked, the command sharper now. She flinched but obeyed, scrambling off the truck and disappearing into the chaos. I cannot let the others see her,or she’ll get an arrow straight to her heart. The Great Mother put this responsibility in my hands,and I simply cannot let her get hurt. It must be a sign.

When the ambush was over, I retreated with the others, my thoughts still tangled around the human girl. The site was a mess,but at least we did what we had in mind. All of their cargo was either destroyed or stolen,and I doubt they won’t send out search parties for our heads.

Back at our camp, I sat by the fire, staring into the flames thoughtfully. Their dance was mesmerizing, a kaleidoscope of amber and gold licking against charred wood, with hints of blue at the edges where the heat was fiercest. The fire cracked and hissed, tiny sparks shooting upward to join the stars above. It felt alive, almost like Eywa herself whispered through its flickering rhythm.

Yet, even as the flames captivated me, my thoughts were elsewhere. On her. The girl in the forest.

Her scent still lingered faintly in my memory, something soft and sweet, like flowers I couldn’t name mixed with earth after rain. Her big eyes had been filled with fear, yet there had been something else too—curiosity, maybe? Defiance? I couldn’t decide which had unsettled me more. Her delicate frame, so unlike the strength we Na’vi pride ourselves on, seemed breakable, yet her spirit shone through her trembling form.

And then there was the atokirina. A single seed of the great tree had floated between us, its gentle glow bathing her face in an ethereal light. It had hovered briefly, as though weighing something unseen, before drifting closer to her. The moment felt... significant, as though Eywa herself had chosen her. Funny how she did not even notice such a blessing.

I had been ready to draw my bow, my duty clear in my mind. Sky People were a threat. A poison. It doesn’t matter that I share both human and Na’vi ancestors. Neither does the fact that my dad was one of them once. In my eyes,he is Na’vi. Just as everyone part of the Resistance. Yet the sight of her—so pure, so deliberate,so…utterly chaotic and scared—lingers in my thoughts. Something in me shifted then, a quiet nudge deep within my soul. I let her go, even when I knew my parents would question my decision.

Now, as the fire crackled before me, I couldn’t help but wonder: who was she? Why did Eywa send a sign? And why did I feel as though letting her go had set something far greater into motion?

The camp was buzzing with movement. The humans part of the Resistance were all in the biolab quarters, tending to their Avatars’ wounds. Lo’ak, my younger brother, plopped down beside me, his usual smirk replaced by a look of concern.

“You’re quiet,” he said, poking at the fire with a stick. “Sa’eyla said some shit went down. Something happen out there?”

I hesitated. “There was a girl.”

He raised an eyebrow. “A girl? Like, a human girl?”

“Yes,” I said, my voice firm. “And Eywa sent an atokirina to her.”

Lo’ak looked at me, confused, the stick in his hand forgotten. “What do you mean?”

I let out a loud sigh. Why is this interaction with her bothering me so much? “Just as I was ready to fire my bow, an atokirina landed on the head of this tawtute eve. As if telling me to lower my bow.”

“Are you serious?”

“I am.”

He let out a low whistle. “Well, that’s... something.” He leaned closer, his voice dropping. “What are you gonna do about it?”

I shook my head. “Nothing. For now. It’s not like I can do much, anyway.”

“Sounds like someone’s already in over his head,” came Kiri’s teasing voice as she approached from the shadows. She carried a bundle of herbs, her expression curious. “What’s this about an atokirina?”

Lo’ak smirked, scooting over to make room for her by the fire. “Our big brother here almost got bested by Eywa’s will.”

Kiri raised an eyebrow, sitting down. “That sounds interesting. Go on.”

I hesitated, but I knew Kiri’s connection to Eywa might help make sense of this. “There was a human girl. She wasn’t like the others—she didn’t fight. And an atokirina came to her. It lingered above her head. Right as I was about to…to kill her.”

Kiri’s expression turned thoughtful. She set the herbs aside, her hands resting on her knees. “Eywa does not make mistakes, Neteyam.”

“I know,” I said, frustrated. “But why her? She’s... she’s one of them. I have no idea why it’s bothering me so much. It’s like a buzz in my head.”

Lo’ak snorted. “Maybe the Great Mother’s matchmaking now.”

“Lo’ak,” Kiri said sharply, shooting him a look that silenced his grin. Her attention returned to me. “Eywa sees the heart, not the body. Maybe this girl is different. Maybe she’s meant to change something.”

I frowned, staring at the fire as its light danced across the darkened camp. “But how can I trust that? How can I trust her? I don’t even know her name and yet…” I hesitated, running a hand down my face. I really don’t need another teasing remark from Lo’ak.  “Gosh, I don’t even want to think about it anymore. Forget it.”

Kiri smiled faintly, her voice soft. “Sometimes, Eywa doesn’t ask for trust. She asks for faith.”

Lo’ak leaned back, looking between us with a sly grin. “Well, sounds like you’ve got a lot to think about, bro. Or maybe, you’re just scared of a tawtute girl.”

I shot him a glare, but Kiri nudged his arm before I could retort. “Leave him alone, Lo’ak,” she said, her tone amused but protective. “This isn’t something to joke about.”

Her gaze returned to me, her expression serious. “Whatever it is, Neteyam, trust that Eywa will reveal it in time. You’ll know what to do when the moment comes.”

And as the fire crackled between us, I couldn’t help but feel the weight of her words. Whether I was ready for it or not, my path—and hers—was no longer just my own.

In the days following the ambush, my thoughts lingered on her. I hadn’t told my parents yet. My father, Jake, carried enough weight on his shoulders. Every decision, every strategy, every skirmish—it was all for the survival of our people. He didn’t need my confusion about a single human clouding his focus. And my mother, Neytiri… she wouldn’t understand. Her hatred for the sky people ran deep, forged in blood and loss, and for good reason.

But I couldn’t ignore it.

One evening, I couldn’t sleep. Tossing and turning in my marui,only to be kept awake by my own thoughts. I hated whenever this happened. When no position was comfortable,my skin felt on fire and I would get more annoyed and tired by the second. I got up and slowly made my way through the campgrounds,passing by people alike,lost in their dreams.

What I’d do to be in their place.

Calling for my ikran, I waited as she descended gracefully, her form blending seamlessly with the star-speckled sky. When she landed, I took a moment to rest my forehead against hers, finding comfort in her steady presence. Together, we soared into the night, the cool wind sweeping away some of the weight on my chest.

Our destination was inevitable: the remnants of Utraya Mokri.

Once, long before I was born, this was the site of the great Tree of Voices—a place of profound connection where our ancestors’ memories thrived. But during the war, the humans came and destroyed it, severing that sacred link. In its place, saplings had begun to grow, fragile yet persistent, spreading slowly across the scarred land. They shimmered now, soft bioluminescent light dancing in the dark. It was a bittersweet sight—proof of Eywa’s resilience, but also a reminder of what had been lost.

I landed and dismounted, walking to the center of the grove. The soil was cool beneath me as I sat cross-legged, surrounded by the glow of the saplings. Gently, I wrapped the tendrils of a sacred vine around my queue, seeking solace in even the faintest connection. It wasn’t strong enough to download memories or speak with the ancestors, but it was something—a tether to Eywa. And maybe, just maybe, she would hear me.

The connection came swiftly, a wave of warmth and calm coursing through me, easing the storm within. I closed my eyes, lowering my head.

“Great Mother,” I whispered, my voice trembling. “Why her? Why a sky person?”

The forest seemed to exhale, its life humming softly around me. The glow of the saplings pulsed gently, as if in answer. I tried to silence my doubts, to push past the fear and confusion. My father had always told me to trust Eywa, even when her ways seemed inscrutable. But this... this felt different.

A memory surfaced unbidden—my father’s voice from years ago. He had been telling us about how Eywa had chosen him, a human, to unite the clans. “Eywa doesn’t see as we do, Neteyam,” he’d said. “She sees balance. Potential. She sees what we cannot.”

A force for balance,maybe. For something greater than I could comprehend.

The thought brought both comfort and unease. I opened my eyes to the glow of the saplings, their light steady and unyielding.

“Help me understand,” I murmured, my words barely audible. The forest around me thrummed once more, but no answer came—at least, not in words. Yet the stillness wasn’t empty. It carried something intangible, something that settled in my heart.

Perhaps the answer would come in time.For now, it would have to be enough.

The jungle was alive with its usual symphony of sounds—the distant calls of viperwolves, the rustle of leaves as a gust of wind swept through the trees. But my focus was razor-sharp, every movement of my body calculated as I followed the humans' trail.

Our scouts had reported another transport heading deeper into the forest, likely bringing more machines or weapons.My father had been clear: Observe, but do not engage. Watch, learn, and then strike if the time is right.

I crouched on a thick branch, hidden by the foliage, my bow resting lightly in my hand. Below me, the humans moved in a tight formation, their vehicles rumbling loudly and their voices carrying through the air. Among them, I saw her again.

She wasn’t dressed like a soldier. Her clothing was simpler, and she carried a small device in her hands, her gaze flicking between it and the terrain around her. She looked… out of place, as though she belonged somewhere quieter, somewhere far from the chaos of this world.

The same tug I’d felt during the ambush returned, stronger this time. But I forced it down.

She’s one of them.

And yet, I couldn’t look away.

We shadowed them for hours, moving through the trees as they trudged through the undergrowth. They stopped occasionally, setting up equipment and scanning the area. The girl seemed focused on whatever task she had been assigned,a small fierce nature in her body, but there was a tension in her posture, a hesitance in her movements.

As the group reached a clearing, my father’s voice came through the earpiece we used for communication.

“Pathfinder, fall back. Let them move on.Over.”

I hesitated. Something wasn’t right.

“Neteyam,” my father’s voice was firmer now. Shit. “Do you copy?”

“Yes,father.” I replied quietly. But I didn’t move.

The attack happened so fast, even I didn’t see it coming.

Viperwolves, drawn by the noise of the humans’ machines, erupted from the shadows. Their snarls shattered the fragile quiet, and the humans scrambled into action, shouting and firing their weapons. Chaos consumed the clearing, the air thick with smoke, fear, and violence.

And in the middle of it all, I saw her freeze.

Her wide eyes darted around, her body stiff as stone. She didn’t run, didn’t fight. Instead, she crouched low, pressing herself against a fallen log, trying to make herself invisible as the chaos surged around her.

I should’ve left. I should’ve followed my father’s orders, retreated into the safety of the trees. But the sight of her, small and vulnerable, anchored me in place. I couldn’t leave her.

Before I realized it, I was moving.

I landed silently behind her, my bow slung over my shoulder as I unsheathed my knife. The viperwolves hadn’t noticed her yet, but it wouldn’t be long before they caught her scent. I could see their noses twitching at the foreign human scent.

“Move,” I whispered, my voice low but firm.

She whipped around. For a moment, she didn’t react, her mouth opening slightly as if to say something. I could see it in her eyes. She recognized me.

“Holy shit,you–”

“Now!” I hissed, grabbing her arm and pulling her up.

She stumbled but followed, her legs moving awkwardly as I led her away from the clearing. The sounds of gunfire and snarls faded as we put distance between ourselves and the fight.

The forest was eerily quiet now, the aftermath of the viperwolf attack leaving a tense stillness in the air. She stood there, staring at me with wide eyes, her breaths coming fast and shallow. I could see the tremor in her hands, the slight quake of her legs—fear, exhaustion, or both.

I didn’t know what I was doing. Eywa’s will tugged at me like a strong current, the memory of the atokirina circling her vivid in my mind.

I raised a hand to my throat comm, pressing it lightly as I spoke in Na’vi. “Eagle Eye, I have a situation,over.”

“Holy shit,dude!Where’d you disappear?Over-” My brother’s voice came through, laced with confusion. I figure he fled back with the others. “What’s going on?”

“I found that girl again. The one I told you about. I’m taking her back to camp. Go on without me.Over.” I said, my words clipped. I’ll never hear the end of it.

“What?” Lo’ak’s shock was evident, his voice rising. “Why would you—”

“I’ll explain later. Tell Father and Kiri to meet me. And be ready. Over and out.”

Before Lo’ak could respond, I cut the connection and turned back to the girl. Her gaze flicked between me and the trees, as if she was debating whether to run.

“You’re coming with me,” I said firmly.

Her brow furrowed. “What? No, I—”

I didn’t give her a chance to finish. Stepping forward, I grabbed her wrist—not hard, but enough to guide her—and began leading her through the trees,calling for my ikran. She struggled against my grip.

“Let go of me!Are you fucking insane?!Why did you–” she hissed.

“We need to move,” I said sharply,cutting her off. “The forest isn’t safe for you.”

“Yeah,no shit.” she bit back,panic present in her tone. Does she think I’m kidnapping her?

When my ikran came to us, the girl froze, her eyes widening at the sight of the massive, winged creature. It let out a low growl, its sharp eyes narrowing at her.

“No way,” she said, shaking her head. “I am not getting on that thing.”

“You don’t have a choice,” I said, swinging up onto the ikran’s back and reaching down for her.

She hesitated, but when the distant laugh of a viperwolf echoed through the trees, she grabbed my hand and let me pull her up. She’s so light.

“Hold on,” I said, guiding her arms around my waist.

She muttered something under her breath, but she obeyed.

With a sharp call, I urged my ikran into the air, the wind rushing past us as we soared above the forest.

The Hallelujah Mountains loomed ahead, their floating peaks glowing faintly in the evening light. I focused on the flight, trying to ignore the growing tension I felt with her pressed against my back.

It wasn’t until we began our descent toward the high base that she spoke.

“You think I don’t understand you?”

Her voice, so sudden, startled me. She was quiet the entire ride and now she speaks?

I twisted slightly to glance back at her, my eyes narrowing. “What are you talking about?”

“When you spoke earlier, in Na’vi. I understood you. You’re taking me back to...to torture me or what?!” she said, her tone biting,but I could sense the fear and tremble in her tone. Feisty little thing.

My heart skipped a beat. She understood? How?

“You speak my language?” I asked, my voice sharp with disbelief.

“You didn’t answer my question!” she snapped, her grip tightening on my waist as the ikran dipped slightly. Fuck,I’m getting lightheaded with the way her tiny hands grip my waist like that. “Why does it matter? Why am I here?”

I didn’t answer immediately. We landed on a wide platform near the high base, the soft thud of the ikran’s claws echoing against the rock. She climbed off quickly, putting distance between us as she glared at me. How do I even explain to her?

“Tell me,” she demanded, her voice rising. “Why did you take me? Why didn’t you just leave me there?”

I slid off the ikran, keeping my gaze steady on hers. “You would have died.”

“I could’ve handled it!” she said, her voice trembling with frustration. Yeah,right. Surely you would have handled dying,little tawtute. “I didn’t ask for your help!”

I took a step closer, my expression hard. “And yet,you were frozen. If I hadn’t acted, the viperwolves would have torn you apart.”

Her anger faltered, and she looked away, her fists clenching at her sides. “I didn’t need saving.”

“You don’t understand this world,” I said, my voice softening. “It’s not like Earth. It will kill you if you’re not careful.”

She looked back at me then, her eyes burning with a mix of anger and something else—something I couldn’t quite place.

“Then why not leave me there?Away from the attack.” she asked quietly. “Why take me with you?”

For a moment, I didn’t know how to answer. The truth was tangled up in feelings I didn’t fully understand myself—in the memory of the atokirina, in the way Eywa seemed to whisper through the forest that she was important. In the way I felt when I stared into her eyes.

“Because we need intel from inside the RDA. And you seemed like a good fit,you know. Small,feisty scientist who didn’t show any signs of a threat. ” I lied, the words slipping out before I could stop them,though I kept a certain amount of smugness in my teasing.

Her brows furrowed in confusion,almost as if she was…offended. “What are you talking about?”

I hesitated, debating how much to tell her. I pet my ikran before I started walking into a cave. “You wouldn’t understand.”

“Try me,” she said, crossing her arms.

Gosh,she’s so infuriating. Maybe I should have left her with the viperwolves. I turn around to her,simply cross my arms in defiance,towering over her small stature with a silent smirk. For a moment, she was observing, her gaze searching mine. I'm too stubborn to talk further. Plus,she's...pretty like this. She let out a sharp laugh, shaking her head. “You’re insane.”

“Maybe,” I said, a faint smile tugging at my lips. She’s got jokes,huh. I like that. “Takes one to know one.”

Her laughter faded, and she looked at me with an expression I couldn’t quite read. “What happens now?”

I straightened, my resolve hardening. “I…don’t know. We’ll figure it out once we get there.”

She didn’t argue this time. Instead, she simply nodded, her shoulders slumping slightly as if the fight had gone out of her.

“And for the record,I’m not going to torture you. We’re not barbarians.”

I heard a weak chuckle leave her lips as she followed behind me,and…it was a pretty sweet sound. 

But I knew this was only the beginning. Whatever Eywa’s plan was, it had already begun.

[akashirl]

CRAZY MIGUEL X KNB RELATIONSHIP CHART !!!

explaining my bonds below...

with sei: well, there's not much to be said about my relationship with sei that i haven't already. we're in love, crossed paths by fate...and we generally look up to each other, especially each other's mental strength. we have also bonded over our traumas and we're honestly just recovering from our issues together. we're not saving eachother, we're staying by the other's side while we save ourselves. it's a mutual bond of understanding, pure, teenage love.

now i'll refer to myself in third person for the sake of making this easier to understand.

miguel is lowkey scared of kuroko. he's not familiar with him enough to actually notice his presence, so he just finds him scary whenever he's actually there. on the other hand, kuroko thinks neutrally of miguel, considering him a friend since they went to middle school together.

miguel is also ex-teammates with kise (from teiko) but they never really clicked. miguel is jealous of how easily kise sharpens his skills so horridly fast. he also finds kise's way of speaking truly annoying, and he doesn't hide it, often being a little bit mean to him. kise is scared of miguel because of that -- and due to his nonchalant personality. (yeah i'm so mysterious and cool)

now with midorima, it's a different story. they're good friends and often hang out with sei as well. what keeps them close is their pure belief on zodiacs. astrology really does it for them. (also, midorima is one of the people who knows about miguel's feelings for seijuro).

miguel never really had a strong bond with atsushi, but relates to him ("basketball is so cruel"). plus, when miguel hangs out with himuro (and shrii, sometimes) atsushi randomly decides to come. but at the same time, miguel is absolutely jealous of how atsushi is comfortable with food (the ed is kicking in).

for miguel, aomine was always just that kind of guy that used to tag along whenever the teiko gang went out to play ball. i suppose they consider eachother old friends, but now, their teams' rivalry speaks louder.

there's not much to say about kagami. miguel finds him annoying and too loud, kagami thinks miguel has a huge ego. plus their teams are rivals and both being utterly ambitious, their personalities clash.

momoi and miguel are good friends and have been since teiko era! he was there for her when the first string was collapsing, and he often listened to her rants. despite being in different high schools, they often exchange long phonecalls to catch up on each other's life.

haizaki and miguel never really got along, specially after listening to nijimura complain about him all the time. now, hearing about how he acted in the winter cup (miguel wasn't playing), he just started disliking him strongly. it's like the vibes were never really there and he just needed a reason to not like haizaki. but haizaki never really cared for miguel that much, he wasn't really all that present during teiko era.

takao and miguel are just friends. :) . they met through shintarou. there's not much to say about them, they don't talk that much but they find each other's humor amusing.

himuro and miguel are close to best friends! they bonded over their music taste (2000's emo) and fashion sense, plus himuro understands miguel's main struggles and also knows that he likes sei. they get together sometimes to go to disc shops around kyoto or play ball!

now for the shocker. miguel and nijimura are half brothers (from different fathers) wow! shocker! miguel is the younger brother. he looks up to nijimura a lot, and has always been jealous of the time he got to spend with seijuro.

reo and miguel are close, since they're in the same class at rakuzan. when miguel moved to the first string, they instantly clicked because their gaydar started beeping INSTANTLY, no matter how much miguel tried to hide it. reo ended up finding out about miguel's feelings for sei and he does feel jealous of their bond; but the happiness for his friends is greater than that. also, he is always suggesting that miguel challenges himself by trying one of his sweets. miguel has denied until today but one day it WILL happen.

hayama finds miguel weird, but he's "part of the family" so he is his usual loud self around him too. hayama calls him "mikas". they're just friends and teammates.

nebuya and miguel get along well, they're a little closer than miguel and hayama. nebuya had a bad habit of telling miguel to "bulk up" and it had to be sei telling him to cut it out for him to stop. though, nebuya was just worried about him. now everything's fine though and they hang out together sometimes with the rakuzan gang.

mayuzumi and miguel have been friends since miguel's first year of high school, since they're both into anime and light novels (although they prefer different genres). they don't speak much now, since chihiro is in college, bt miguel looks up to mayuzumi for continuing to play basketball even after graduating and never letting anyone step on his dignity, despite how restrictive his abilities used to be.

[ miguel jumpscare ]

tags !! @pinkreveluv6 @japeneselunchtimerush @sweijuro @pigeonbksimp @fl0ralsxgar @ilovemaiubo @shrii-kk @moxanji-real

[sitp-recs]

back for another rec!

looking for a possessive harry, *especially* if he say or thinks “mine” (!!!)

thanks so much!

Your wish is my command! 🫡🫡

Devour by @digthewriter (E, 1k)

"We fight we break up. | We kiss we make up." Jealous Harry is jealous.

Utterly Yours by @lazywonderlvnd (E, 6k)

Draco gets back at Harry for his late nights as an Auror by flirting with the new Arithmancy professor. Harry's not usually the jealous type, but he has his moments.

Intention by @the-sinking-ship (E, 7k)

Harry really ought to listen to whatever Ron is saying, but it becomes impossible to focus when a familiar figure across the pub curls his fingers around another man’s tie. And when that man leans in with a wolfish smile, Harry sees red, and all he can think is mine.

Once Upon a (Wet) Dream by InnerLilith (E, 13k)

Once a year, Harry has a very strange dream. Meanwhile, in real life, he’s falling for Draco Malfoy.

I've Waited Here for You (Everlong) by heyitsamorette (E, 23k)

Ever since Ginny started dating Blaise, Harry has had to see a lot of Blaise’s friends as well… and with them comes Malfoy. Everyone’s too focused on rebuilding the world after the war to notice that Malfoy is still a dick, so they don’t seem to mind letting him into their little group. But Harry remembers everything, and when he’s not having nightmares from the war or training to become an Auror, he is doing his best not to let himself become friends with Draco Malfoy. And friends with benefits is not actually friends… is it?

In Your Arms, Rests My World by @l0vegl0wsinthedark (E, 24k)

Harry presses his mouth to Malfoy's forehead; he wants to tell him that he’ll never leave, that he wouldn’t dream of it. “You make me feel safe, Potter” Malfoy whispers. “You keep me safe.”

on the divine agony of longing by @flimsi (E, 25k)

Speaking to Draco is like poking a beehive - and Harry is a glutton for punishment. In which Harry makes some serious blunders and then tries to fix it. Somehow.

what husbands are for by @softlystarstruck (E, 52k)

To settle tensions between werewolves and vampires, Harry volunteers for a political marriage. But it turns out he's marrying Malfoy– cold, untouchable Malfoy, who he hasn't seen in ten years. Throughout contention and politics, werewolf pub nights and grudgingly shared meals, they have to make it work. And in the midst of it all, Harry finds something he already gave up hoping for.

Lemon Colour, Honey Glow by @thusspoketrish (E, 67k)

Over a series of unfortunate pub nights at the Leaky Cauldron, Draco Malfoy falls in love. A story about finding strength and forgiveness in unlikely places.

Who we are in the shadows by @quicksilvermaid (E, 100k)

What happens when you’re forced to become the very thing you despise? Ex-Auror Harry Potter, tossed out of the Ministry for something he had no control over, has been looking for a way back to his former life. When he comes across Draco Malfoy in the criminal underbelly of Wizarding London and in need of protection, Harry figures bringing him in to face the Ministry's justice is his ticket back to everything he's lost.

Bonus: dark!Harry (pls mind the tags)

I Love You by Curlee_Cue (M, 18k)

Harry knows what love is. It’s something that grows. Something that adapts. Something that sometimes needs a little help along the way. (or the one in which Harry loses his mind)

[marsprincess889]

Hi! I was wondering who do Saturnian nakshatras usually feel attracted to/end up with? Is there some sort of theory for this? 🤔 thanks ❤

Lol no theory but yes, based on obsevations, multiple examples in real life and art and nakshatra yoni pairings(and their positions on the wheel) saturn people are the best match for sun people.

Each saturn nakshatra is opposite a sun nakshatra and two of them are yoni consorts of sun nakshatras, with Uttara Bhadrapada and Uttara Phalguni being both opposite each other and yoni consorts (cow yonis). Krittika is the yoni match for Pushya (sheep/goat yonis), and Anuradha's yoni consort is Jyeshta(rabbit/deer yonis), while Uttara Ashadha (mongoose yoni) has no yoni consort.

All of the saturn and sun nakshatras, except Anuradha are warrior caste, so Anuradha is a bit different in nature, but tbh that does not make much of a difference.

The usual dynamic between them is often very fun to watch cause both of those planets are tough, stubborn and independent but in completely different ways. I have a post on Uttara Phalguni and Uttara Bhadrapada and how it usually plays out, with examples. Some of it is specific to cow yonis but mostly you can apply them to all and any saturn-sun nakshatra pair. With Anuradha, it's interesting that its yoni match Jyeshta is considered very solar and masculine in nature despite being a Mercury-ruled nakshatra, so it is different in Anuradha's case, but not really.

Sun is the natural self-expression of a person and represents the soul, the rational, the cerebral, the individual and the stable, masculine part. Saturn is the rules and the limitations that have to be accepted and followed perfectly that are necessary for life in the material(physical) world. The Sun is exalted in Ashwini, and debilitated in its opposite(and enemy) nakshatra Swati, where Saturn is exalted. Saturn is debilotated in another nakshatra opposite Swati_ Bharani, which comes right after Ashwini. Also, Suna nd Saturn are natural enemies. If you think of them that way, it might appear that all that tension will translate to enmity, and it does happen sometimes, but in the case of nakshatra rulerships, oftentimes Sun and Saturn people get along exeptionally well and have a unique dynamic that makes them a powerful team. One's strengths are the other's weaknesses, they balance each other out and they have a common ground where they both appreciate and respect each other and their boundaries(mostly after some time 😅). There will, almost certainly, always be tension between them but it usually grts channelled productively, and through love. If the Sun is indepedence, and Saturn is restriction and dependence, one cannot exist without the other. We define our individuality through restrictions and rules and we restrict and define(ourselves and others) based on who we are, so it's really a very iconic dynamic you asked about. 😄

Some tropes that their dynamic reminds me of:

Battle couple

Enemies to lovers

Partners in crime to lovers

Rivals to lovers

Thanks for asking! I love their dynamic. In hetero couples its kinda different(EDIT: I meant, it's different based on which planet type is which gender), but the overall vibe and the dynamic stays the same. They(sun and saturn individuals) really seem like opposite people until they actually interact and then they act like two almost identical bickering children while enjoying it 😭 they are very loyal, forgot to mention, probably the most loyal along with venus people, and very defensive. They might get offended if anyone tries to get involved in their "bickering"(flirting), it's just between them. I can confirm all of the above causse I'm a Sun girl(a venus girl, but with uttara phalguni ascendant) 😁

Anyways, glad you asked. If you have similar questions about other nakshatras it always helps to pay attention to little details about them, like, yoni animals, which planets are friends, neutral or enemies, nakshatra caste, planet exaltations and detriments, nakshatra nature, nakshatra placements at the zodiac wheel... and a lot of this comes from observing real life and art through the years, as well as from personal experience. I think you have to filer any information through your own lens and see for yourself, maybe you'll discover something new that others did not catch. I'm basically encouraging you to observe without pressure and have fun, and to fact check what others say for yourself. 🙂

[eijirousbestie]

since ur one of the realistic bakugou writers (just like what that anonie said) what do u think about: 1.him being jealous over his s/o. we always see those possessive or jelly bakugou writings, but i think it's kinda over exaggeration sometimes. 2.with affectionate s/o? like, i know things may be very awkward at the start of their relationship but what if his s/o suddenly has the urge to pepper kisses all over his face & hug him so tight? srry if it's stupid😭

Jealousy + Affection

Jealousy

——————————————-

He’d unsuspectingly pull them into his room when they aren’t looking, closing the door behind the two and standing tall with a displeased frown on his face. Jealousy is one of the feelings Katsuki rarely ever feels. And when he does, he absolutely hates it. It doesn’t make sense to him. He has everything he could ever need. An incredible power, insane strength, intellect like no other and a tongue as sharp as a knife. What the hell would he ever be jealous about? Or at least that’s what he would’ve thought before he got close enough to someone to call his own.

“We needa talk,” he’d grumble, brows knit together. “That ‘new friend’ of yours is pissing me off. I swear they only ever need you when I finally have you to myself.”

He’s realistic. He knows they’re not just gonna drop someone for him just because he doesn’t like them for unproved reasons, but that still doesn’t mean he won’t stop wishing they will. Until then, he’ll keep taking extra measures to make sure they can make up for lost time spent together. He’d spend extra time giving TLC he usually wouldn’t, feeling like he’d need to remind his partner where home really is.

In no way is he being overtly possessive or trying to tie his partner down. That’s just crazy as hell. He’s just worried about the third party’s intentions with his person, untrusting of what their motives may be or what their influence is on his partner. He knows they can handle their own but still it’s just a normal concern.

Then again, this is Katsuki we’re talking about so when he has his mind set on something it’s hard to change his mind about it, but he tried to be flexible for them. He tries. Jealousy is a bitch.

————————————————————

Affection

Having an affectionate partner isn’t always the easiest for Katsuki to deal with but that doesn’t mean he won’t try. Most likely this person would be one of the very few relationships he’s had throughout his life. Being career and goal focused for years on end left him with no time to think about all that lovey dovey bullshit other people his age would drown in. But everybody wants somebody, even if it’s just a friend.

And that’s how the two had started. Being friends with Katsuki is no easy feat. Having to put up with constant yelling, bickering and outrageously childish arguments, it wasn’t a cake walk. But it sure as hell was still fun just like any other friendship. The two had gotten along unsuspectingly well even though their personalities were near opposite. Him being reserved and self righteous; them being outwardly friendly and super connected to people.

In most cases Katsuki wouldn’t give someone like them the time of day, but of course they’re a rare case. His rare case. Katsuki could find solace in them knowing that whatever stupid shit he might spew could easily be returned with matched energy. The sense of mutual respect would then blossom them into a budding relationship, one where he could feel safe enough to fall with them completely.

At the beginning, yes it was a bit awkward. He wasn’t the skinship type at all and didn’t really understand why someone had to be glued to another person’s skin damn near 24/7. But after being slowly acclimated to hand holding, he starts to warm up to mutual touch. Having gotten used to being hugged up by them since the earlier stages in their friendship, of course he knows all their tells months into their new relationship.

Occasionally coming in for a hug, he’d accept, letting them do so as long as it wasn’t overly performative. There’s a happy balance in everything so he’d gotten to learn how to take it with stride after a while. Well, only if they hadn’t pestered him with too much physical contact in one day. One too many hugs? He’d put a palm to their face and lightly shove them away, not using any real strength to hurt them. Only enough to send the message that he’s all hugged out.

Of course, if he noticed he’d been neglecting their love language of touch, he’d concede, but in his own way. Loungin on the couch with them, he may glance down and notice their hands resting in their lap as they focus on the television. His gaze would drift up to the side of their face, watching their expression closely before taking their hand in his and putting it in his lap instead, lightly stroking the back of their hand with his thumb.

Katsuki can be a hardass sometimes. Most of the time. But he’s incredibly perceptive of people, especially those he holds close to his heart. So of course he’d do what he can to make them feel comfortable around him all while keeping himself comfortable and preserving his own boundaries.

————————————————————

[prettygirlformula]

things i do to distract myself.

i dont usually post textposts, but i decided to do something different because, its november!!! nd we all know this months is when things go wrong and i've been struggling to practice self-care so here are some of my favourite things i like to do to remind myself i am loved, and perhaps give you all some inspo if you're in a funk too!! <3

listen to music i tend to have different playlists as i believe that the music you listen to dictates your mood. as much as i enjoy my jazz and classical, when im in a funk i need to be hype 24/7!! my go to's are usually anything future, miss stallion, glorilla, king von, tate mcrae, charli or carti. i need to listen to music that'll manifest success and confidence.

read i'll read anything really, just to keep my mind off social media BECAUSE I DO NOT WANT TO ROT MY BRAIN WHEN IM FEELING SULKY. im currently reading letters from a stoic by seneca - im learning plenty and its keeping me stay calm

body movement i love a good run, or a pilates sesh so i'll put all my anger and sadness into pushing myself to run an extra k, or that extra set. sometimes its nice to just clear ur lungs and ur mind, and it'll build my strength physically and mentally!!! plus i'll look even better so he'll regret ever ending things with me

visit the beach im a beach girl forever, the ocean has always been my best friend. a quick swim will alwayssss level me out. there's cute boutiques and my favourite açai place along the esplanade and i love walking down there during the sunset or sunrise to keep me busy.

annoy my friends i love my friends so much they're my everything!!! they bring me peace even if we're loud. there's something about surrounding yourself with positive and loving energy that i'll never get tired of, if i could i would give all my love in my body to them.

write ive always been a writer i think. i have to get everything in my mind onto paper or a document or i lose it. its nice to write in my journal about things im grateful for, things im scared about and things i want to achieve. as well as just what went on in my day - i think that now im out of high school im living a much more dramatic and different life to what i used to, so i need to process these things. also i write w a muji pen so it makes the experience so fun.

cry no matter how nonchalant i try to be, im a crier - even at the clubs (it gets embarrassing) but i find it a great way to rid my anger, sadness or stress - better out than in.

meditate ive only just started practicing this, but its very peaceful!! well duh i like to do it during sunset in the park near one of the beaches i frequent (so i can swim too hehe) and the sound of the waves, the people and life can kind of block out anything in my head!!

clean/re-organise my room organised room = organised mind!! (my dad taught me that one) but during this process i always find something that i forgot about and i get distracted, so it takes longer but i get the job #done

call my mummy my mum and i are close, shes my best friend so i tell her everything (except my tattoos and my ehem..rendevouz..) her wisdom has helped me in a lot of situations...i tend to write down the advice she gives me so i dont forget and fuck up. again :p

retail therapy maybe not the most healthy way of self-care, but it gets the job done i cannot lie!! sometimes you need to spend a little bit of money to sustain some peace in your life. you do need that glossier lip liner babe, get it, you deserve it.

ofc some of these things may not work well for you, but self-care is what makes you feel good!!! im open to new ideas of self-care so lmk what you guys do :p + thank you so much for 3 blessed years on this account, eternally grateful for everyone <3

[thebreakfastgenie]

Who do you think would have done worse if the other one had died in Korea, Hawkeye or Trapper?

This is a juicy question and I wanted to give it the proper consideration! After much pondering, I think my gut instinct was right.

I think Hawkeye would do worse while still in Korea. I think Trapper would do worse after he got home.

We see Hawkeye break down quite a few times in the course of the show. He's sensitive to the horror of it all and sometimes it overwhelms him. Losing Trapper would send him into a tailspin and Trapper is usually the one who pulls him out of it. He'd cry and drink and probably lose it for a few days. They'd probably call Sidney, as a friend as much as a psychiatrist. But Hawkeye actually knows how to cope with grief. Even when he breaks down in Sometimes You Hear the Bullet, he pulls it together pretty fast. He's also experienced. He may have lingering issues with his father's lack of communication about his mother's illness and death, but he seems to have fully processed it by the time we meet him. He's experienced with grief from a young age. Hawkeye's dad is portrayed as taciturn but emotionally intelligent and they have a warm, close relationship, so Hawkeye has at least some model for dealing with grief and he aso has support at home. I think the reality of existing in Korea without Trapper would compound the damage of Trapper's actual death. Hawkeye needs an improv partner. If BJ or someone came along I think it might take Hawkeye longer to warm up, but ultimately he'd give into his need for social support, and getting that need met would help him a lot. Either way, once he gets home the acute absence of Trapper would no longer be such a big problem and he'd process the grief and be able to move on with his life.

One of Trapper's strengths is his ability to compartmentalize to get through a crisis. Hawkeye's death would really shake him. He'd probably drink more, at least for a while, and I think he might withdraw a little bit. He'd be less friendly and outgoing and just have less fun because Hawkeye wasn't there to make him laugh. I don't think he'd make another close friend. He wouldn't be mean, but more focused on work, in survival mode. He'd probably keep going out with the nurses but I think it would become more physical and lose a lot of the playful romance because he just wouldn't have the energy. But he wouldn't have the luxury of breaking down, so he wouldn't. Until he got home and it all hit him, like how sometimes you get sick right after a period of high stress, because your body pours all its adrenaline into fighting it off until it's safe to be out of commission. I think he'd just kind of fall apart. Trapper also comes from a working class background where masculinity is a little bit restrictive and he'd be surrounded by people who weren't in Korea and didn't understand. I think Louise would try, but wouldn't really know how to help and Trapper wouldn't know how to be helped. I think he'd probably learn to deal with it eventually, but delaying the break until he got home would make him break that much harder.

Of course the only way to find out is to write both fics ;)

[junoshifts]

𝓐SK 𝓖AME !

ANSWERING FOR MY CRESCENT CITY REALITY

dedicated to @vshiftsss ! ✶ tumblr wouldn’t allow me to directly answer your ask for some reason, so i had to do it as its own post sadly. regardless, enjoy <3

🎠 maximus the stallion . . . who is your loyal steed, the person who drives you to do what is important to you? if you have an s/o, did this person dislike them at first, or did they trust each other?

dawn ( aka @dawnsdreamworld ) is my ride or die, my bffie. dawn is bryce’s older sibling in that reality, so i actually met through them. there wasn’t much animosity or disagreement between us, since they actually encouraged me to go through with asking bryce out. they’re already dating hunt, so we end up hanging out as a group of 4 for most of our double dates and such. danika is definitely my second choice for this, but once again, she and bryce were such close friends that i was honestly the one out of the loop. in order to win bryce’s heart, you have to earn the trust and respect of her friends and family— luckily for me, i got along with all of them very well, so i didn’t have many issues on that front.

☀️ sun of corona . . . who or what brings light and hope in your life? are you a symbol of goodness for those around you? do others look up to you, or do you have people you look up to? do you want the respect and love of people around you, or would you prefer to be feared for your strengths?

bryce is a source of such immense light for me, both metaphorically and literally. she is so bright and full of life and enthusiasm, it illuminates every hidden shadow and brings such goodness. even in her darkest moments, she manages to find a way to overcome and persevere. she defies all the odds and stays true to herself, and i’ll always be proud of her for that. i look up to her mom a lot, she is a bit overprotective of bryce (for valid reasons, obviously) but she cares so deeply and wholly. i prefer to be someone reliable and loved, a person who earns respect from their positive qualities and empathy.

🌰 hazelnut soup . . . what is your comfort food or meal in your dr? is this a family recipe, or perhaps something from your favorite restaurant/tavern? do you make it from scratch or does someone else make it for you?

i am a dumpling enthusiast to my core. bryce cannot cook well (said with love) so i do most of the cooking for us. sometimes she will sit in the kitchen with me when i make dumplings for us, and we’ll chat about life while i do. i was always taught that the secret ingredient to making the perfect meal is making it with love, and as a result, each of my dishes is comforting and warm. one of my current favorites is a chicken and dumpling soup, it’s simple and hearty and so delicious. it’s almost like a deconstructed chicken pot pie, but the dumplings make it so delicious.

🍳 frying pan . . . what was your first impression of your s/o? what was their first impression of you? how did you meet, and did that have an impact on your relationship’s path? have your impressions of each other changed over time?

bryce and i met in college, our dorms were near each other so we exchanged numbers and decided to be friends. we would go out for coffee and study together, and the more time we spent together, the more our feelings developed. i became a third wheel on her friendship with danika, and dani constantly knew something was up between me and bryce and tried to point it out. i’ve thought she was gorgeous since our first meeting— her cherry-red curls, elegant ruby nails, warm eyes, thick lashes, and delicate freckles sprinkled across her cheeks make me feel a little crazy at times, but in the best way. she’s lovely and kind and enthusiastic about so much, she is like a human embodiment of the sun in every possible way.

[hopelessoptimisttea]

Can we discuss Eggsy's character a little bit?

We can't say for sure if it was the result of a difficult childhood, upbringing, or Eggsy was such a person himself, but he definitely has a moral code that he always adheres to.

Loyalty is a major trait of his character. Eggsy promised a stranger not to tell anyone what he saw, he didn't rat out his friends to the police, he didn't rat out Kingsman to the stranger who tied him to the railroad tracks. And he also suffers when circumstances prevent him from being faithful. This explains his depressed state when he realizes he must cheat on Tilde with Clara for the sake of the mission.

A heightened sense of justice. He berates Harry for “blowing up” the professor's head, reprimands him when he sees a stuffed dog in the bathroom. A nice enough trait: Eggsy doesn't want the strong to hurt the weak. Harry has already shown him his strength; he's clearly stronger than this old man and the little dog. Harry had no right to hurt them.

Eggsy is also able to admit his mistakes and show compassion. Along with his spontaneity, sharp mind and emotionality, this is what I like about him.

On top of that, I like the complexity of his character.

I suppose the dog test is one good demonstration of that. You know, there's a difference between “Eggsy refused to kill his dog” and “Eggsy pointed a gun at his dog but couldn't shoot.” He doesn't ask what it's for, spit in Arthur's face, or tell him to get the hell out with his orders. He takes the gun and points it at the dog. And it's an important moment in his internal struggle, because successfully passing the test means a ticket to a new and possibly happy life. But JB's well-being proves more important to him, and he puts the gun down. After all, it's not just the murder of his furry friend, it's another denial of the opportunity to be happy, and that's a hard enough moment. And Taron Egerton handles that moment brilliantly.

His complexity also manifests itself in contradictions. You know, Eggsy is kind and sensitive, but that doesn't mean he's not cruel. He was the one who suggested killing a few thousand people by blowing up chips in their necks. He had no way of knowing how voluntary the procedure was or how many rich people had implanted those chips in their children. Of course, in the heat of battle, he couldn't think about that. Yet his reaction to their deaths, shown in TGC, perfectly demonstrates that he doesn't regret his decision one bit.

I also don't think Eggsy would have worried about killing Whiskey. His witticism, uttered after the cowboy was turned into mincemeat, confirms this. And it's also interesting: Eggsy is willing to sympathize with the guy's grief, but he also thinks it's right to kill him because Whiskey is a threat. This is exactly what I was talking about when discussing Harry's character. Sometimes the Kingsmans have to make hard and cruel decisions for the good of the world.

And yes, of course Eggsy is far from an angel, but he is certainly a good, strong and brave man. I in no way mean to denigrate him, I'm just pointing out how complex this character is.